10.13.2009

Step Off Nanny

I am all kinds of whipped up today:P I don't now if it's because I live in the city, and we are on top of each other, so complete strangers think they can jump into my life at any time to shove their worthless two cents down my throat, or if this happens all over the place?

Miss Peach had the day off school yesterday (I find this out after loading the kiddos up and hauling them to school only to find it was closed for "Columbia Day", as Miss Peach called it.) No problem, I go for my run with two kiddos in the stroller instead of one, and then take them to the zoo to play.

Let me stop here only to say...Whoever designed the Children's Zoo obviously did NOT have kiddos. Seriously, who puts a fountain with shards of metal coming out of the bottom, low enough that kiddos can climb into it, in the middle of a child play area? Oh, add in a waterfall with a step so kiddos can stick their head right in said waterfall. The least you could do is turn the dang thing off in the winter! I was very lenient with The Little Man, until the third time he found himself knee deep in the mosaic fountain nightmare. It was a meltdown coming, and there was nothing I could do but plow through it, and head home for "lunchies".

Remember, Little Man is still wearing his shirts with one arm out of the top "like Caveman Austin". I'm OK with that, it's all about picking your battles. After hauling TLM (From here on, TLM stands for The Little Man, m'kay?) up from the fountain for the nine millionth time, I hog tied him to the ground to wrestle his coat on him. This is a battle I have to wage...he's wet, it's cold out, and he's gonna wear a coat dog gone'it!

Out of nowhere, some nanny who speaks English as a second language comes up to us, puts her finger under the collar of his shirt, and says "Dis wrong!". Completely shocked that she did that, I look up and say "I'm well aware." (Like I have no idea how a shirt works:/) Then she goes back to watching the kiddos she is being paid to watch.

I am visibly upset at dealing with TLM's melt down, but what mother isn't stressed trying to shove two kiddos into a stroller, as one is melting down? It's like repacking a parachute. I wasn't yelling, or spanking anyone, I was just methodically putting him into the stroller while he played the "my bones are jello" game. (I hate when they do that!)

Again, out of nowhere, Nanny Lady comes up and grabs TLM's feet to get him into the stroller. (At this point, I'm in complete shock!) Do not touch my son thank you very much. Then she takes his face into her hands and says "you good boy", as if to imply that I was telling him he was a bad boy? She even took his toy truck and put it together and handed it to him....I know I am not painting the correct picture here. This was not a woman helping, it was like she was elbowing me out of the way because I was doing it wrong. Needless to say, TLM was horrified/scared at the stranger lady who was touching him and pushing Mommy to the side.

The Hell lady? Who asked you?!? I did not give him the truck back because...a) I am his mother, and b) He had thrown it on the ground, and I felt he did not deserve it back until he was done with his melt down. These are my decisions to make...as his mother!

Typically, when someone gets all up in my business, I am more than happy to go nose to nose with them. (Bring it on Sister Soldier...I will totally cut you!) *OK, I will not really cut you...but it sounds good-n-tough* This time, I was so shocked, I just wanted to get out of the situation. Who does this? I would never get in the way of a Mommy dealing with her toddler in melt down mode (it wasn't even that bad of a melt down...TLM has been WAY worse, and I am completely able to handle it)

Am I the only one who has strangers weaseling their way into their business? Step off Nanny Woman, nobody asked you! Sometimes I think I have a kick me sign taped to my back:P
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37 comments:

  1. Dang!! I am shocked that you didn't rip her up! One time overstepping is one thing, but to keep coming back?!? She is one lucky nanny that you were shocked into silence!
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  2. hugs to you! sure sounds like a moment that could send any mama over the edge. NOT the meltdown, but the person being "helpful" ugh...
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  3. Oh hellz no!!! You do NOT touch another stranger's child. I don't care WHO you are, you just don't do that. It's wrong. Unless, you reached out and said "HELP!" it's just wrong.
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  4. Oh no she di'nt! I would have gone spider monkey on her at some point. You showed great restraint.
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  5. Oh my. When Laura was four or so, she was having a major meltdown in the toy aisle, loudly wailing because she wanted me to buy her a set of twin baby dolls. A grandmotherly looking woman approached with a stern look and wagged her finger at me, telling me I was a bad mom. I thought she was going to scold me because of the meltdown. Instead, she continued saying that I should buy my daughter those dolls, and that my child just wanted those dolls to practice being a mom, and why was I being mean to her? At this point Laura stopped wailing and was all ears. I told the lady that I had the situation in hand and to please leave us be. She reached into her wallet, pulled out a $20 bill, and shoved it toward me. I picked up Laura and started moving away, while the woman pursued us down the aisle, telling me, "Please, take this money and buy your child those dolls!" Now I had two meltdowns on my hands. I firmly told the woman to step aside, and got the heck out of the store. Later, Laura's dad and I talked to her about the meltdown, and she told her dad, "A lady tried to buy the dolls for me, but Mommy wouldn't let her."

    I don't know what was motivating that woman with the $20 or the nanny, and it doesn't matter. They were out of line. Totally. It happens.

    I should totally write a blog post about the lady in the toy aisle, but I did it here. :-)
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  6. Oh. My. Gosh! That lady had ballz! And not in a good way. I would have been all over her! Of course, you did the right thing, setting a good example for your kids by not shankin' her, but man! There is NO WAY I could have watched her do that to you and not said something.
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  7. Oh girl, I'd have had some words for her ;-) Some people don't know how to 'help,' I suppose!

    Jamie :)
    p.s. if you had a 'kick me' sign on your back, I'd totally take if off for you, tee hee...
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  8. That's just horrible! I can't even get into the rudeness of it all, that just blows my mind, but the fact that a STRANGER touched YOUR CHILD without even asking permission or.... I can't even form the words. So I'll just paraphrase Stephanie Tanner from Full House, HOW RUDE!
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  9. The "Dis wrong!" and your response had me laughing so loudly it echoed through my upstairs level. You DID have a rough day. The fountain thing sounds crazy, stuff like that drives me nuts, because obviously a kid is going to go straight for it. And the public display of jello bones? I cringe in sympathy...you brought back memories of my daycare/nannying days. And the lady? I would have wanted to cut her too. You get props for not bashing in her head with the toy truck. :) I hope you find a glass of wine as soon as the Miss Peach and TLM are tucked into bed! ~Susan
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  10. Ohz boyz. What an experience. But I have to admit, I've wanted to do that to a few of the parents in my school....

    Have to laugh about the shards of metal in the fountain though. What a GREAT idea. ;)
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  11. I completely understand, and the shock that accompanies it. She was totally out of line! As a single mom, people think they're justified in 'helping' me because I obviously can't handle it since I'm just so pitiful. Riiight. The touching my child, unless saving from danger or reviving him from death, would put me over the edge.

    Also, the jello bones move drives me insane!
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  12. good for you for your cool approach!

    I once told a lady to not ever tell my kids what to do again!
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  13. Wow... I don't have kids but I get irritated by the liberties I see people taking when dealing with the children of others. I asked my friend, "How do you put up with that!?!" She said being preggers was good practice. I don't think anything can prepare you for this one though. Ugh. I can't even imagine what I'd do.
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  14. I have had people say things during a kids meltdown but not do things [unless they were friends or relatives] She was way out of line... cut her next time ;)
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  15. She must be crazy. Who would do this? You should've cut her.
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  16. First off, you have my utmost respect for allowing him to be Caveman Austin, even in public. You get Great Mom of the Week for that.

    Second, kudos for keeping your cool through the meltdown AND Nanny Nazi.

    Third, tell TLM to kick anyone in the shins that does that next time. You'd totally be justified.
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  17. Sympathy to you, girl. I had few meltdowns with my kids, but if someone had intervened I think I wouldn't have been able to hold it together quite as well as you did!
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  18. Oh, the meltdowns...seriously, that whole 'pick your battles' thing is the trick. I'd have been shocked by the woman injecting herself into the situation! Never in my life since becoming a parent have I thought of doing something like that to another, purely because in that instant, we don't know the situation.
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  19. Not that I wouldn't freak out, too, because you just don't do that, in America. But you do in other countries. I had a friend from Tailand who would do that, just hop up and pick up someone's crying kid in a playland! The horror on people's faces!!! Yikes! She was doing what they do in their country, helping moms out when they have more than one kid to deal with. It means nothing more than helping. But the parents!!!! I would quickly reassure them that she was from another country and just trying to help like she would there, she doesn't KNOW that is freaks us out! lol
    She learned though, but still couldn't resist, she loved children and would indulge them to get them to stop crying. lol
    She never once thought the parent wasn't doing things right. They also just say things, like that shirt isn't on right, because they just say what they see. It just rubs us wrong, but not there.
    I totally freak when people try to get in my parenting business, too. And I get it plenty since we don't choose to use birth control, and people think it is their business to get into our sex life, spiritual choices and scrutinize everything our kids do becuase if you have more than two kids, than it is your fault if your 2 year old has a tantrum, not the fact that they are TWO. You learn to deal with it with humor.
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  20. Even the thought of a stranger coming up to my daughter and doing ANYTHING, whether they think they're helping or not, makes me very uncomfortable. When they have approached just to look at her I instinctively stand in front of her because I don't know what they're doing or who they are, so this woman actually handling your son and his toys is just so incredibly inappropriate.
    I think what you did was as good as you can get in that situation! None of these suggestions (jokes of course) about anyone getting violent. No need to sink to that level (not that you would....but I don't know about some of your readers from the things they wrote (uh-Karen...)

    Your kids are learning from the way you behave and I think you handled that perfectly.
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  21. Hmmm... One way to look at it? She's looking for a job, and giving you a hands on look at how she would work with your kids.
    Maybe?
    Kinda?
    Possibly?
    Not so much?
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  22. I cannot believe that someone did that - that is just wrong on so many levels. I would be beyond flabbergasted and too in shock to act, although I would definitely want to kick her ass. Truth be told, that woman sounds like it could have been my mother, although she's too busy pointing out what I'm doing wrong, to do it to a complete stranger.
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  23. I've only experienced the more subtle forms...like when another mom sees me struggling and frustrated and says something like, "well, he's just a boy." YEAH, a boy who is totally freaking out and I'm trying to stop the freaking and you're now totally freaking me out too thankyouverymuch.

    So yeah. If someone actually intervened and seemed to be reassuring my child with the obvious intention of making the point that I'm doing something wrong, I'd REALLY not like it.

    Sorry, lady.
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  24. Something similar happened to us a few weeks ago. I just haven't had the stomach to blog about (i.e. relive) it... I am STILL completely horrifed that someone(a complete strange, at that) would ever touch my child.

    I just want to give you a huge hug right now... and punch out that stupid nanny :-)
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  25. What the hell is right. Does she think she's Supernanny?
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  26. Unfortunately, I too have been on the "receiving" end of "help" from another person. It pisses me off too.
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  27. I'm amazed at you keeping your cool. Touching TLM's feet would have driven me right over the edge. Not only that but my daughter does not like strange adults touching her and it would have sent her into a major meltdown. I just get dirty looks.
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  28. What the hell? I'm lucky enough that nothing like this has happened to me (yet). I just don't even know what I would do.
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  29. I get it. I get it . . . I do. You are one cool mama, let me tell you.
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  30. Wow. I would have been in shock as well. And like you, I would have been FURIOUS!
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  31. My first time commenting, and I'm going to play devil's advocate for a minute. Not that I wouldn't be taken aback by someone touch me or my children without permission, but I agree with whoever said it's likely cultural.

    You of course know the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child", well in many countries it's more than a saying. It's life. It's lived out in very real, very practical ways. From helping a mother with her puddle of a two year old son, to BREASTFEED SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD. Seriously. There are places where no one would bat an eye if a woman picked up a crying baby and nursed it... a woman other than the child's mother.

    Don't take this as judgment of you, your parenting or your children.

    We often lament how lonely mothering can be. How no one understands. How isolating it can be. This nanny lady reached out to you -in an albeit in a way that appeared shockingly rude and unwanted- woman to woman.

    Embrace it.

    (I'm not saying this wagging my finger at you... more like timidly-speaking-up-from-a-corner-of-the-room-for-the-first-time. Please take it in the tone in which it was written. With love. One mother to another.)
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  32. Two words. BITCH SLAP. Okay. Not in front of your kiddoes, but mentally. In fact, in your mind, how about a bad ass round house kick to the gut too.

    Violent who?
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  33. I've never had anyone come up to me and act that way. Probably because I am the perfect mother. NOT! I would definitely have been shocked and chagrined.
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  34. Hell no! You should have tripped her!

    *I don't condone violence, except in dire situations*

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha
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  35. Omygosh, I would have died on the spot. I wouldn't have known what to do. What nerve!
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  36. Tonight, while I was walking my dog, some jerk who watched me for all of 5 seconds informed me how I should be holding the leash to reduce tension. I immediately remembered this post. I'm pretty sure he heard me call him a jerk. Seriously. WTH does he know about my dog and her behaviors? Maybe he should assume that I know better than he does what I need to do to control her and keep her safe on busy sidewalks. And even if I don't, who asked him?
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  37. Oh no she didn't!!

    What is wrong with people? I understand, you have a sharp tongue with obnoxious people like I do, but I think too would have been too stunned to even say "excuse me, but if you don't step away from my son I might have to drop kick you".
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