There are days when I feel like I have been walking around with a "kick me" sign taped to my back...Today, was one of those days:P
I started swimming last year, as cross training for my marathon. Never have I been a swimmer, but I stuck with it. For real, it's a great workout, and one of the main things I LOVE about it is...once I put my head in the water...no one bothers me (no Mommy this, or Mommy that...bliss). Until today...
Nobody gave me any rules of the pool guide. It's pretty straight forward. Go to the pool, pick an open lane, swim. Not. Rocket. Science.
Today, I go to the pool. There is one end lane open. No one else is around, everyone was in the pool. I think to myself Score, I got the last lane, jump in, and start my laps.
All of the sudden, I get to the end of the pool, and this woman is towering over my lane, yelling at me:O
Lane Nazi: "I can't believe you stole my lane!!!"
Me: *blink, blink*
Lane Nazi: "Didn't you see my stuff here? I can't believe you would steal my lane?!?"
Me: "Look lady, there are kick boards and flippers everywhere. How was I supposed to know any of it was yours? No one was here...Like I'm supposed to know this was your lane, and sit and wait for you to come back?"
Lane Nazi: "I wasn't here, I went to the bathroom" (which is on another floor of the health club. She had gone to the pool first, dropped off her stuff to save the lane and left.)
Me: "I'm supposed to know this how? I had no idea you could reserve a lane...but if you need this lane, I'll move. I'm sorry if I crossed some lane reserving protocol:P"
Lane Nazi: "No, I don't want the lane anymore, I have another one. I just can't believe you would steal my lane!" (When I got there, there was only one lane open. By the time the Lane Nazi got there, other lanes opened up...leaving me to wonder why she was yelling at me???)
Me: "Look lady, I have apologized to you, and offered up the lane to you. I don't know what else I can do?"
Lane Nazi: *miffing and shaking her head as she walks back to her lane*
Me: *yelling across the pool* "You are way out of line!"
Here's how you know you are a blogger...I swam away thinking...I'll show you Lane Nazi B*tch...I am so blogging this. Like we are at West Beverly, I'm Naomi and I'm all "I will ruin you!" (Did I just admit I've been watching the new Bev. Hills 90210? Don't tell anyone...)
Well, you just know that I leave the pool, go take a shower, and come back to my locker to get dressed. Lane Nazi's locker is right. next. to. mine:P That just figures...seriously out of like six rows of lockers...she is right next to me. Who did I p*ss off today? I so don't deserve this.
Lane Nazi: "I just don't understand why you would do that?"
Me: *BIG sigh* "Lady, all I did was swim in an open lane...if this is the worst thing that happens to you today, chalk it up in the win column and call it a day. Get over it." (Then I flipped my hair like a total b*tch, turned around, and and walked on...)
Lane Nazi: *blink, blink*
BOO-YAH!!! (I get to BOO-YAH, right? I think I won that one?)
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You definitely won that one. Definitely.
ReplyDeleteNap Warden: 1 Crazy Lane Lady: -10
ReplyDeleteMy guess is that pool protocol includes NOT saving lanes. What a nut.
I am SO high-fiving you from here. Good lord.
ReplyDeleteYou sooo get to Boo-yah! Why couldn't she just leave well enough alone? How were you supposed to know she had "reserved" the lane. Give me a break! You even offered it to her. Gah! Some people! And seriously? If that's all she has to complain about, I want her life!
ReplyDeleteHell yeah you get a boo-yah for that! Some people just need a hobby or to get laid or to get some sense knocked into them and you at least offered one option to that uptight bitch. What she did with it was hers to decide.
ReplyDeleteCouplea' Boo-Ya's, as I see it. Kooks everywhere... Hang in there - tomorrow I wish you a day without running into a single one of them!
ReplyDeleteNap Warden Win! LOL!
ReplyDeleteYep, that's one to chalk up to you and a big birdie flip to the lane Nazi! Some people are just inexplicably WEIRD!
ReplyDeletedidja realy say that??? I am so impressed. gawd i would have been so knotted up seeing her again (possibly necked), that I would have grabbed my grab and run, and THEN said that to her once i got into my car...I wish I could think on the spot like that!!
ReplyDeleteLOL!!! You win! I would never have had the guts to yell out across the pool and then flip my hair at her.
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome!! I have been watching 90210 too! Love the hair flip thing!
ReplyDeletegood for you! I would have done the same thing. SOMEONE needs to keep these selfimportant pompous people in line! I would say you won that one!
ReplyDeleteBoo-yah indeed! Love the hair flip...totally put her in her place.
ReplyDeleteI'll def BOO YA on that one!!! What a batch, she just wanted something to bitch about. How miserable! Go You!!!
ReplyDeleteI think she lost the minute she started going nuts-o over a swim lane. I didn't even know you could save a lane. Then again, I also can't swim.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the problem with some people?! And Go, You!
ReplyDeleteYou sooo won! I hate people like that. I'm sorry, but placing your towel next to something does not "save" it for you.
ReplyDeleteI used to hate my gym because people did that with water bottles and magazines. They would leave them on the elliptical and then wander off to do whatever...and expect their shit to be there when they returned.
If you have to pee mid workout, too bad...you should have planned better. If you have to pee before you start, you don't get to call the one free machine just because you saw it first (this isn't a game of "shotgun" hehe).
Maybe you should have invited her to play tennis with you... ;)
ReplyDeleteI think you won that one. Although really you should have dragged her into the pool and dunked her a few times. What a nutter.
ReplyDeletePsycho gym people I swear. They act like they own it..
ReplyDeleteAAAAahahahahahaaaa! Oh, I love you! You are too cool for school! I can't believe she made such a fuss over it! Sheesh!
ReplyDeleteYou are SO winning homecoming queen this year. I just KNOW it. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is crazy stuff! Good for you for standing your ground! When I have trouble at my gym with the cell phone talkers and the gum chewers can I call you for advice?
ReplyDeleteWow. Congrats for standing up for yourself. That woman needs a hobby or something.
ReplyDeleteWoot! (I watch 90210 too ;))
ReplyDeletelololol!!!!!! AWESOME!!! I LOVE THAT!!!
ReplyDeleteso i finally have a chance to say something...crazy lane lady was ridiculous! as a swimmer, you see stuff on the side of the pool all the time since people weren't taught to pick up after themselves. and seriously? the bathroom? whatever, psycho. you were in the right & had way more balls than me. i would have been flummoxed & tongue-tied, but you stood your ground & let her know she was wrong. boo yah!
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding? What a wackjob to be so hung up on that...empty lane? Someone in the one I was in? Easy choice. Move on. Sounds like you're lucky she didn't ask you to step outside...
ReplyDeleteI totally feel the same way. When I get annoyed with someone, I always think I'm going to write the most scathing post and really show her...of course, the object of my angst never reads my blog, and if they did, I probably wouldn't have to guts to write the post!
whoa. sounds like this lady needs to get a life. Did you ask her how many mattresses she needs before that pea stops hurting her back?
ReplyDeleteOk, you are totally my biggest heroine. You have all the guts that I don't have and wish I did. You should write a book about your awesome self and how other people can be like you. I would have slunk away and felt like crap all day. I LOVE that you yelled across the pool! And Boo-yah describes it perfectly. *grin*
ReplyDelete