Sometimes I sit back and I ask myself "How did I let this happen?" It's not like I "let" this happen. I really don't feel like I did this, but...I. HAVE. NO. FRIENDS. There, I said it:P
OK, I don't exactly have "no" friends (hi Sissy). The thing is, I have no mom friends in The Big City. When I was single girl, I had TONS of friends. I went out all the time. Life was one big bucket of fun. Then I went and got married...Then, I went and had kiddos...and *poof* Where'd everybody go???
Is it too much to ask to just have one friend within walking distance, who is cool, who has kiddos, who wants to have an afternoon glass of wine while our kiddos play together? Is it?!?
Apparently so...
*sigh* me too. All my friends are in the computer, ha! Even my real life ones, because most of them live too far away to visit on a weekly basis :(
ReplyDeleteAww... Well, I'm totally your friend. If that's any consolation....
ReplyDeletedude...another big city girl over here feeling your pain. Boy do I get you on this...I totally get you.
ReplyDeleteWanna move to LA?? It's warm here. :-)
I have not had a real life face to face friend since I was in HS (15 years ago). I so feel what you are feeling. Please know you are not alone and we all feel like this.
ReplyDeleteAw. You totally need a mom friend where you live! Are there any moms groups you could join?
ReplyDeleteAnd hey, is that chardonnay? Mmmm.
I have found it to be incredibly difficult to make friends since becoming a Mom. Moving to Utah has made it impossible.
ReplyDeleteMy computer, my TV and my box of wine are my best friends....
I haven't had much luck making new friends in Cali either. I really wish we didn't live states upon states away from each other. I would so love hanging out with you!
ReplyDeleteok i'm your friend for that every ones friend and well hay i'm olny abt. 90 miles a way lol in well a some what of a big city and well any time your up in my part of the woods i be willing to hang out with you .
ReplyDeleteFeeling just like you way over here in Norway girl! Even my mom is only talked to online! Thank goodness for web cams!!! ::hugs::
ReplyDeleteIt must be a theme. I was just talking about this. I had lots of friends until I had kids. Now I have none, other than the occasional chat with one of the kids' classmates' moms. Which isn't even very fun or interesting. I'd love to have more friends, too, and I keep thinking of joining a local moms' group, but it seems so sorority-ish. So not me.
ReplyDeleteAt least you have the big city. And your wine. I don't even have that. I live in the burbs and I don't drink. I just whine.
I am in the exact same boat. I have lots of friends an hour (or 5, 6, 7, 8) away, but none that I can just walk over to. I think I need to lower my standards.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya'. I have friends that fit the bill EXCEPT they don't live in my 'hood. Apparently all the cool, funny moms are banished to the OTHER side of town. I would like to think it's because I'm so awesome that no one else that is awesome wants to live with a 20 mile radius, but that's probably not it.
ReplyDeleteI have friends. And even with kids. But no one within walking distance. Instead it's a car ride to reach anyone. Therefore, I drink alone ;)
ReplyDeleteI hear ya. I have a couple friends with kids, but not within walking distance and our children's nap schedules are not in sync. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteIt's not just because you're home with the kids either. I have one close IRL friend (finally!). Before her, I saw ppl at work that I liked and all, but we dind't hang out after hours. And once I was home - no time, no people, no connections.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard for some reason.
I told you a long time ago to join Moms Club, you'll meet a nice little group of people you like, possibly for playgroup, and avoid all the other activities! it's worth it. Momsclub.org I believe is the link.
ReplyDeleteIf I was close by I would be right over....well to watch you drink that glass of vino :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with some of the others find a moms group if that doesn't work get a webcam and we can all drink together LOL :)
Having a friend in walking distance is the best! Last year my daughter met her current best friend in preschool. His family lives two streets over in the next neighborhood and there is a nice path that joins the two. Then our 2nd children became friends and do preschool together while our oldest attend the neighborhood kindergarten/elementary school. Thankfully, we moms hit it off here in suburban Boise. We love to go to parks together and swimming pools in the summer and just "do" life while the kids play.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you! Is Peach a preschooler yet? That will be a great time to connect with moms and have play dates and make great friends.
I think it's just tough to have girlfriend time once you have more than one kiddo especially. My best friend and I have known each other since we were kids and we started doing an annual summer trip...I try to do lunches out. It's tough!
ReplyDeleteWhat these people in the box on my desk aren't "real" friends? GAH, I must go drink now. ha! I live in the country, I have to drive if I want to see people, so I know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI am there with you.
ReplyDeleteoh. I'm sorry. When I first had kids, i had no mom friends. None. It was miserable. So I finally started a moms group and made some great mom friends and now of course, most of them have moved out of the city. :)
ReplyDeleteaw. i feel terrible for you. i know you will find a great friend close to you soon! if not, you could always move to Texas and I will be your IRL friend!
ReplyDeleteI think most of us feel that way after we get married. Things change.
ReplyDeleteI was JUST complaining to my husband last week that he ruined my 'friend life'! So funny!!
ReplyDeleteumm, shall I really admit this? I lost all my friend to either marriage and kids or drugs. yep ya heard me. they either fell in to one or the other so hard they had no time left for me. Of course I tried to stick it out for my friends with hubbys and kiddos and wth, 5 years later and I still can't connect, things aren't really going to change much for another 13 years so I need new friends. It sucks for all of us lady. if I am ever in chi-town which happens sometimes, (Indy girl) i would love to pay you a vino visit. kids and all! we can even drive around or walk around and take pictures of houses we can't afford. 8-)
ReplyDeleteYou are clearly not alone. I am with y'all. What strikes me as so funny is that we are all out there looking for friends and some of us must be near each other!
ReplyDeleteI am 3 hours from you...so if you or I ever need a road trip...I say we do it!
I'm right there with you too! I actually wrote a blog post about how hard it is to make friends when you become a mom. I have tried joining local groups, but I don't seem to fit in because I work and most of the moms in those groups stay at home. I'm not sure why that is a barrier, but it seems to be.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I finally started making good friends when my children were in school. It does happen. i remember being soooo lonely. Wish I had a blog then. LOL.
ReplyDeleteMeeee toooooo. *sigh* I totally feel you, girl!
ReplyDeleteI honestly feel that if people were the same in real life as they are on their blogs, we'd all have deeper, more meaningful friendships. I mean, the people you meet every day don't hear about about a tire gone bad, or Lost or how we adore everything our children do. Instead we nod, say hello and scuttle on by like we might melt if we stopped.
ReplyDeleteI'm having a tough time finding friends who want to be friends because we have things in common-- I'm the novelty--my accent, the foods I eat, etc. It gets old being on display.
wow. I obviously thought your title was telling me to whine.
So sorry to hear that. It does it more difficult to make friends as we get older. There's lots of stuff that gets in the way, especially with little kids. Some times you just have to take what comes your way and if you're lucky, you find a real friend. I've been here for 3 years and I've managed to make friends with lots of my neighbors, but I've just really connected with another preschool mom, even though we've know each other for a year and a half. You just have to put yourself out there sometimes. Lots of moms feel the same way.
ReplyDeleteI joined a mom's group (I found one online for my neighborhood) and met a bunch of moms with kids the exact same age. We've been friends and hanging out for about a year and a half now. I have no idea what I would have done without them, it is so nice to have a few friends that can on the kid and hubby level. Seriously I highly recommend it since convincing my friends to get married and / or have kids was taking waaaay too long!
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain! It stinks doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteAnd thus the reason I blog. I recently joined a mom's group (and I am NOT a group kind of person) and things are going fairly well. I've even had a "date." These women turned out to be way cooler than I thought. And me . . . less dorky.
ReplyDeleteWe'll be right over after naptime, 'kay? I joined MOMS club, and it helped me get over a hump with a playgroup, mom's night out, etc. But I know it's not for everyone! Wish we were closer--Z would LOVE to play with your kids!!!
ReplyDelete