3.17.2008

Rush

You all know, I've been trying to find some "Mommy" friends, right? I swear, the whole thing feels like sorority rush at UGA. I go to playgroups, and sing a longs, you name it, and it feels like an audition. Is it me? Are you guys feeling this? Let me give you an example...I take Miss Peach, and The Little Man to a siblings sing a long on Tuesdays. There is a little girl (Jan) who jumps and sings, and hugs Miss Peach. Their version of great friends. After a few weeks, a woman who I assumed was Jan's Mom approached me and asked if we would be interested in a play date outside of class. Sure I said. She then took my number and told me she would have Jan's mother call me. As you have probably guessed, this woman was the nanny. Two days later, I get a call from Jan's Mother. She wants to meet me for coffee before she will let the nanny take Jan over for a play date. Is it me...how weird is this? I mean I get it, I get that she doesn't want her daughter taken to a strangers house for a play date, but still, I feel like I am on an interview. Long story short, our whole family came down with the flu, then colds, I lost Jan's Mom's number and we never got together. So, tonight I am on my way to the salon to get a haircut, something I never get the time to do....and I get a phone call. You guessed it, Jan's Mom. She says she will be taking Jan to sing a long tomorrow since the nanny is on spring break and she hopes Miss Peach and I will be there. Well, yes we will be there, so I am finally auditioning for Jan's Mom. Now I am sitting here thinking "thank goodness I had my hair appointment tonight...now what am I going to wear to sing a long...". I swear, this is almost as bad as dating....am I nuts?

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38 comments:

  1. Most of our kids play dates have been arranged through me, the Dad. It appears that I have more friends with kids our kids age than the Mrs does.

    Auditioning is just plain weird. I gotta tell you. I'd be a little leary of having my kids hang out with some other kid and their Nanny. Not too many nannied kids around here.
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  2. That's INSANE! Try MOMS Club to find one in your area. Dues are around $20 a year, they have great events to take your kids to (with real moms) & playgroups.... and better yet, NO Interviews!
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  3. It really is crazy how hard it is to find some mom friends!
    And really "auditioning" for the mom? That's pretty funny! Gosh I hope you can relax and be yourself. You should just give her your blog address and tell her to do a little research, HAHA!
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  4. If you're nuts then so am I! I would be doing the same thing, and probably making sure my brows were freshly waxed as well.

    I hope you and Jan's mom get along as well as the girls do.
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  5. I would be feeling the same way, like it's an interview. Just be yourself, if she doesn't like you she's nuts!
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  6. yes, since we move every 2-3 years, this is exactly how i feel!

    Thankfully they go to a private preschool....eeks that kind of sounds club-ish!

    But before the preschool, I was in MOPS group and a Mothers 'n More group.
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  7. I am actually a little nervous about this. This will be my first foray into the parental dating dance. I'm not looking forward to it. Why can't it be as easy as --

    hug/hug, I like your dress. Can we be friends?
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  8. Now don't be nervous. Just be yourself. She will like you for you. and if not, you know there are plenty of other fish in the sea and damn it, you are just to good for her.

    I'll be your mom friend.
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  9. HaHa Good luck with your "interview" and don't worry, I'm sure you'll do fine.

    We just moved here 2 months ago and I really need to get out there and make an effort to make some "mom" friends, but this post pretty much explains why I'm putting it off...
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  10. yes, the world of parenting is strange! I hope your "interview" goes well... and the mom approves you, of course you'll probably have more interaction with the Nanny than the actual mom
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  11. I've only been reading your blog for a short while and I think you are cool: ) Remember, working mom is probably going to feel self-conscious because she won't know everyone at the sing along as you do. She also may feel weird if most everyone else there is a SAHM. I have a feeling working mom will think you are cool and that you'll end up being friends with the nanny.
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  12. Wow. That seems a bit out there to me, but maybe it's because she isn't able to be with her daughter all the time due to working..?
    I'd let my kids play with Miss Peach, even without the interview. Sorry you're having such a hard time honey.
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  13. Well let us know if you pass muster with Miss Priss, no I meant the mom, really I did.
    This is just another frightening aspect of life these days.
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  14. Mom friends are not easy to come by but it does get better once the kids are in school. Good luck on your "interview"
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  15. Thank goodness for timing. LOL.

    Yes. Yes. Yes. I always feel as if I am auditioning. And yes, I have had playdates with nannys. They aren't so much fun.

    Hope it goes smoothly for you.
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  16. I always wonder why is it so hard to make mommy friends in "real life" when it's so easy on the Internet.

    It does feel strange that nanny fed her your "info" as playdate potential.

    At least she's being really careful about who Jan plays with - that is probably a good sign.
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  17. I also wish I knew more moms with kids. No play dates so far. Language has been a problem.....I think they avoid me because its so hard to understand my Indonesian. So, I've been failing my interviews I guess.
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  19. I think it's a byproduct of our uptight society.

    I met a woman the other night who said, "I won't let my teenager get together with someone whose family I don't know."

    I thought that was sad. It limited this woman -- and her son -- to people the mom knows through church or school, by and large.

    Me, when my kids come home and say they want to play with so-and-so, I check out the school directory. Drop them an e-mail if I can. Let the kids call and ask if they can play. I figure life is a great adventure and we'll learn something about someone different from us.

    But not everyone is like me, which is usually a good thing. In this case, I'm not so sure it is.

    A bit of caution is one thing. But paranoia is another.

    Hang in there. You'll find your niche.
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  20. You are SO right. I feel the same way. The majority of my friends are either not moms yet or working moms. Makes the days long and rather lonely. I know what you mean, though about "auditioning." Good luck!
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  21. i guess the question is if she is a working mom i kind of understand that she would want to meet you first (although maybe just going to a park with the kids on a weekend could work). but if she is a sahm, and that is the nanny, she should just come to the class once and get to know you. but i guess that is happening anyway. i think the whole meeting moms is strange as well. i was lucky with my first and meet a group i liked right away at a class. however i notice at classes with my second, i do not meet any one. it might be me b/c with my second i don't feel the need. however, i do feel as if us moms are checking each other out. who is wearing what, driving what , where one lives. i hate it. yet i find myself doing it. i have seen some snobby ass moms with 5 carat rings on, and i simply don't even bother with them.
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  22. Wear the jeans, PLEASE! Just wear the jeans.

    The whole thing is just weird. Maybe I just think that because I can't afford a nanny and probably wouldn't use one even if I could.
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  23. My initial thought was "wow, she doesn't trust her nanny's judgement". I have never managed to make friends at these Mommy & Me things - my daughter is in love with a little girl in her music class but her mother shows no interest in me and since if I want our daughters to hang out, we would have to hang out - this friendship is going to be confined to the classroom.
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  24. Unreal. Just imagine what the nanny interview process was with Jan's mom. I wonder if she had to meet the parents of prospective nannies as well?
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  25. Perfectly stated! I would love to have more Mommy friends, but the 'interview' process is so painful I often just opt for playing in the front yard . . . I judge myself as a parent hard enough, I don't need some random stranger doing it for me!
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  26. This is too weird...and reminds me of the time I took my little one to Gymboree and wasn't aware we had to take off our shoes until it was too late. Needless to say, my toenails were in rough shape and I got some pretty interesting looks from moms who had perfectly manicured feet.

    And don't worry...mommy friends will come. We move a lot and it's funny how all of the woman friends I make in a new town are through the kids and their schools/activities. It'll be interesting to see what you think of the mom with the nanny. Let us know!
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  27. Okay. I'm truly creeped out by having to go through a formal rush to make friends for the kiddos. And, a nanny? Strange. Very strange.

    Rush the Delta House. They throw good toga parties.
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  28. Not at all..I can totally relate. I am in the same boat..since moving to my home with my now hubby, I have had absolutely zero friends...my kids are getting too big for play dates,either...I can't figure out why I have such a hard time making friends now either...used to have tons, now..zip, nada...zero...
    Good luck!
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  29. You aren't nuts. It seems to me that the mom should trust the nanny's judgement and if the nanny thinks you are "acceptable" then shouldn't that be good enough? Especially since it is the nanny that will be the one to interface with you at the playdates.

    So you have to go through all of this and you still don't get a mommy friend out of the deal? Ugh!
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  30. Good grief that's messed up! Run, don't walk away, run. I'm with burgh's baby mom - wear the jeans.

    I lost all friends when I had kids - I either scared them off or grossed them out. Welcome to the dirty diaper trenches.
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  31. Um, yeah, that's weird.
    No way would I have shown up for coffee so she can decide whether I am an acceptable mother.
    When I used to take my son to Music Class I was always amazed at all the nannies there.
    You have to tell us how it goes when you meet her!
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  33. WOW! I feel like we must live on totally different planets..... :) :) Although we're both super-heroines, so I guess that makes sense;)
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  34. I know what you mean about finding other mom friends. It's actually harder than dating because not only do you have to get along, and your kids get along, but you have to like their kids. There's the kicker sometimes.
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  35. Great topic..we didn't "do" play dates with my step son unless they were with children of our friends. Now that he's 8 though it's a different story. If a school friend is going to take our child and be responsible for him for a set amount of time..damn straight there is a "interview" of sorts. I don't want some drunk or space case taking my kid to the bowling alley..you know what I mean. As far as becoming friends with these parents...ech..it happens it happens.
    If you are feeling RUSH pressure I'd say run away! (ps found you from Melinda Zook)
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  36. Passing inspection ... sounds weird. Maybe the other mom works and just isn't used to how things go...? But you're right, sometimes you wonder if you're dating again!
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  37. That is completely insane. This does nothing for you since you will be hanging out with the nanny...is the nanny nice? I would throw the audition.

    I agree with the others...find a good MOMS Club, Early childhood PTA or church group where no auditioning is necessary.
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  38. Ugh, I can totally relate.

    It does feel like Formal Sorority Rush. Which, I did, like OMG 15 years ago.

    I tried Gymboree when Angry Toddler was smaller. I never fit in.

    He's now in preschool, thank god. I don't even click with the mommies there.

    I think I'm way too snarktastic for them.

    I wish I lived closer to all my blogger buddies, they seem more my style.

    Good luck!
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