"We're moving to the burbs next month!" the text read.
"Wowzers!" I texted back. (Wowzers...where did I get that? I think it's dorky) "I don't know if I could do it."
"ummm yeah"..."it's like plesantville...or truman show" followed by "but its for the kids. huge yard great FREE public schools. clean & safe. huge change for me, but im happy for the childhood my kids will have."
...and there it was...my guilt:/
Am I selfish for raising my kids in the city? Did I make some choice to raise my kids without a yard, in a bad school, where it's dirty and dangerous? I know in my head that's nonsense. I know everyone rationalizes their own decisions and my friend in no way meant to belittle my decisions with hers...but it's still how I felt.
There's a part of me that's going to miss my friend, although these days our texting relationship is going way stronger than actually seeing each other. (I'm pretty sure you can text from the suburbs) That wasn't really what was bugging me.
I don't think I could move to the burbs. I've always said I'd move to Vail before I'd move to the burbs. (Kimmer...is Vail a good place to raise your kids? I don't know.) Do kids in the suburbs actually play in their spansive yards? I take my kiddos to the park every day. We take the city bus downtown to our favorite movie theater. We bus it to the Art Institute, and the Shedd, and the Museum of Science and Industry...is that better than "clean and safe" or worse?
Perhaps my problem is this whole concept of better or worse. Perhaps I need to just start thinking of it as different. One of my favorite little kiddos at school made the jump to the burbs last year. The family came back to the school carnival, and I asked him how he liked living in the new house and he said..."I miss being a city kid."
My fried Sissy walks by an apartment building every time we go to RJ Grunts for nachos (which is not as much as it used to be these days Sissy) and every time she says "That's where we lived before my family dragged me to the suburbs:(" She doesn't seem any happier because she grew up with a yard in the exact same suburb my friend is moving to. I kinda get the vibe she wanted to grow up a city kid.
Bottom line...I got nuthin'. Seems right now my kiddos are gonna grow up city kids. Is this because Mommy and Daddy were selfish and didn't want to leave the city, or because Mommy and Daddy made a decision to stay in the city. I don't know...both, and neither.
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It's not an either or situation. We spend a lot of time in Chicago. Our girls have been to more cultural events this summer than any city kid I know. It's about what you think is important. Those kids who say, "I want to be a city kid" don't really know what that means for their parents. I watched a friend go through the "will my kid get into high school" drama three times. In the end they paid at least $10k+ for private school per kid per year. I don't want to deal with the school drama. We live in a suburb with a top high school. We still spend a lot of time in the city. We're suburbanites with CTA cards.
ReplyDeleteI still kind of hope I'll make it to Vail before the high school thing. I know it's a beast in Chicago:/
DeleteI'm jealous of you - can I say that? I WANT to live in the city with my kids - my kid want to live int he city - hubbie - does not! He works in the burbs and that is where we are stuck. Culture is where it is at my friend. (and yes, my kids are outside in our huge backyard all the time!)
ReplyDeleteWell alright, so the suburbs have that going for it;)
DeleteI agree with what both of them said! And I was going to say the same thing my kids are in the yard ALL the time. They go out back sometimes before I even get out of bed to play with the neighbors that is until school started ;) But we do plenty of things in the city to keep them rounded. I don't think it is a better or worse place to live. You do what you have to do as a family.
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