Weight, what?

Often times I find myself in our master bathroom while the kiddos are just outside the door, bouncing on my bed. I don't know what it is with kiddos and jumping on beds? When is it that, that is no longer something fun to do???

Anyway...I'm in the bathroom and I hear Miss Peach ask The Little Man...

"Little Man, do I look fat???"

My. Jaw. Hit. The. FLOOR:O

Where did this come from? Why is my five year old asking my four year old if she looks fat???

I'm not sure if I over reacted or not. I walked into the bedroom and said...

"Miss Peach, why would you ask that? You are perfect, period, just perfect."

I didn't want to add "just the way you are" because I think that sounds kind of condescending...like the way you are is what you're stuck with so get used to it. I don't feel that way, and I don't want her to feel that way...so I didn't say it.

She said "My friend Janey is skinnier than me. I want to be as skinny as Janey."

I am at a complete. loss. How do I get my five year old girl to be happy with herself, period, herself?

Am I over reacting? Is this just the way it is when you raise a girl? Are we doomed to be dissatisfied with our weight and appearance, period?

Miss Peach and I were watching The Nate Berkus Show (for the first and last time) it caught her eye because they had a kiddo fashion show on. They were doing "celebrity kid makeovers" I couldn't get over how lame it was that Nate B. had a stylist on, showing us how to make our kids look like Gwen Stefani's kid, or Tom Cruise's kid, or Angelina Jolie's kid.

I got a better idea Nate...how 'bout if I let my kid look like my kid?!? If Miss Peach wants to wear leggings, and shorts, and Old Navy knock off Ugg boots...that is darn well what I'm going to let her wear. I'm certainly not going to encourage her look like Suri Cruise! They're kids...can we just let 'em be kids for as long as we can???

This whole topic bugs me...


  1. Ewwww I am so sorry. This is one of my pet peeves, too _ although luckily my 5yo hasn't noticed or said anything like that yet. Fortunately tomboy + independent just *might* = not caring about stuff like that, at least for a little longer!

  2. [jaw is dropped] Seriously - where do they get this??

  3. Whoa - that's so freaking upsetting. I think you handled it perfectly. I can't believe they're encouraging kid makeovers these days!

  4. Hopefully, it's just that she's on her way to being a 'girly-girl'. That said, it seems to me that NOW is the time to encourage her to just be herself - that SHE needs to be the standard against which she measures herself.

    Tell her she's lovely and precious - and you don't want her to look like ANYBODY else. In fact, you'd be happiest if everybody tried to look Just. Like. Her.

    Yeah. That's the ticket. She should grow up to be a Diva!!

  5. Holy Cow - isn't it awful that kids think that way... isn't it awful that WE feel that way. I try to be very conscious that my insecurities (that I am working on...) do not show and set a bad example for my daughters. AND this will make me try even harder. I think you handled it perfectly!

  6. it is downright scary shit. my 6 year old didn't want to wear snowpants b/c they will make her look fat ???? my girl has ocd and aneroxia is a form of ocd so i am seriously scared. lucikly she is very thin as is so i am hoping her skinny genes will help out this situation. it is horrendous. i think Nate is boring and find little interest in him or his show.

  7. my 4th grader and I had a similar conversation about her getting breasts. Her bf already has them and she was upset that she didn't. OY! I just told her that she is exactly how God wanted her to be and she will grow and change when it is her time which isn't going to be at the same time as everyone else. That is what makes us unique and beautiful on our own. and so on...it's tough.

  8. YUCK.

    I hate that this stuff happens at all, but I REALLY hate that it starts so early.

  9. My 16 year has gone through phases like that throughout the years. Our line has been that she is just how she is meant to be and everyone is different. Then we shift the focus to her physical appearance is such a small part of who she is - she is smart, funny, strong, caring, and those those what are really important.


  10. Ugh. Kid makeovers??? My kid doesn't even know WHO those celebrity kids are!

  11. Ew ew ew. I'm SO GLAD my 6 year old is still blissfully happy with her appearance and more concerned with comfort (leggings and tunic tops) than looking any particular way.

    Okay, with one exception. She REALLY wanted to grow her hair out and she thinks all beautiful women have long hair. I finally let her when she agreed to let me brush it and put it into pigtails.

  12. darn it. I hate that she is feeling it already. or at all. :(

    and that show you described.....super ugh.

  13. Gah. It begins so young. There isn't anything you've done or that you've missed. It's just the way females are. We are (IMHO) predisposed to wanting to be appealing to the opposite sex and it starts at the moment they realize that boys and girls are different. I swear to God. And it's NOT just this generation! Or even only a few generations old. It's been around since Egyptians put kohl on their eyes and Chinese women bound their feet and on and on and on. Our daughters are LUCKY to be born in this generation: They have mothers who are determined to dispel the myth that the way we look defines who we are.

    Long live tutu's and leggings and knock off Ugg boots.

  14. My daughters are ages 23, 17 and 12. Dealt with this same thing starting at about kindergarten age for all three of them. Interestingly, my now 17 year old is SUPER TINY and always has been and she dealt with the same body dissatisfaction, "why am I so skinny, will I ever have boobs, " etc. So I it's less a weight issue and more of an I want to blend in issue. Orvat least that's how it played out with my girls.

  15. I think you handled it great. 5 is too young to worry.

    And I won't be watching Nate B. again either. Not that I did that much to begin with he is an Oprah spin off...

  16. I think you handled it fine. I am waiting the day it happens here as I know it will. It's one of the reasons I don't let my kids watch much TV, and no commercial TV. In fact my husband has just pointed out how interested my daughter is in my fitness magazines, which of course always have a skinny model on the front. I know have to hide them like they are Playboy. I just want her to be happier and healthy than I was. I was horrible to myself and body for a long time and I don't want her to go through that.

  17. Yep. Five is the age they start noticing their weight. Our girls have been talking about it for a couple of years now. I spend a lot of time correcting them and everyone else. People compare our girls all the time as the "big" one or the "little" one. They, of course, assume it's related to weight and stress about it.

  18. This sort of thing is one of the things that keeps my mommy brain up at night. How do we raise our girls to feel that they have no need to compare themselves physically to the other girls around them?

  19. oh girlie - this year when my daughter (then 6 now 7) started school she came home and started in with the "I'm fat" - I was mortified for her - I NEVER weigh myself in front of my kids - I NEVER diet in front of my kids - I NEVER say I am on a diet (basically b/c I never am on one and I eat whatever I want) - But I am sooooooo careful not to EVER say anything about image in front of the children. I always say they are gorgeous or call them beautiful.

    It sucks - how does it start so early!!!!! (AND YOUR daughter IS skinny!)


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