Mommy's Meltdown

I'm having a bit of a freak out:/

It really bugs me, since I would think that most people would just shut up, be happy about it, and kick their feet up...

Might it be an identity crisis?

Here's the thing...I know we are just starting summer, and I'm going to be uber busy chasing the kidlets around since I haven't chosen to send them to day camps. That being said...I'm kinda freaking out about a few months down the road when *gulp* The Little Man starts preschool.

I'm going to have both kiddos in school in the fall...BOTH!

This means six hours a day...to myself. Don't get me wrong...I am super psyched about the idea of free time. I have spent the last five years chasing Miss Peach and The Little Man around. Now, I have no idea how to handle time to myself:/

I kinda want to get back to the business of having a career again. Quite frankly, I'm not sure what to do with these feelings. Don't laugh, but I really think we "mommy bloggers" are a savvy group. I think we are qualified to be social media experts. We have mastered the integration of blogs, Twitter and Facebook, as well as the ins and outs of stats and driving traffic to our sites. I gotta think that's a marketable skill...no?

While I love social media...there's this little voice in the back of my head that wants to actually pursue illustration. Problem is...I don't really know what that is. I've been creating images for "mommy blogs" for over two years now, and I've built up quite a portfolio. So what is the next step? What is the logical next step for a blog designer?

I feel like since I'm self taught, somehow I'm won't fit in a job environment. (I know that sounds crazy...but it's still a fear in my chest)

It's not even like I want to have an actual job that I go to...I like the freelance lifestyle...I don't know...I'm feeling anxious:/

Whew...feels good to get that off my chest.

Now if you'll excuse me...I need to go put sunglasses on my cat;P

15 comments

  1. Can't deny it, I'm excited to see where you go...

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  2. I love to see your thought process through this and where it takes you.

    And now that you've mentioned illustration, I have a little question...what kind of illustration? I have a project I'm starting and I'm actually looking for an illustrator. We need to talk!!!!

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  3. I am so envious of the six hours a day you have coming that I can hardly write this -- just kidding.

    I think the possibilities are endless for you and I too cannot wait to see what fantastic gig you find or create!

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  4. I am so excited for you. You certainly have many marketable skills. I know there is a website that lists freelance opportunities and you can provide quotes for the positions. You are amazingly talented and I know you are going to go far!

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  5. It seems like you have a pretty successful blog design thing going, so why not keep up with that and pursue freelance illustration gigs as they come up?

    Seriously, 6 hours of freedom a day? Oh my, oh my, oh my.

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  6. Just as you can do nothing to change the past, you also cannot predict the future. What you have control of, and what you need to make the best of, is the present.

    Set goals? Yes. Allow those goals to guide your path through the present? Yes. But worry about things over which you have no direct control - like the future? WHY?

    Live in the now. Enjoy the now. LOVE the now. Let Kindness and Generosity illuminate your path to the future - and the future will take care of itself. It will get here, whether you worry about it or not.

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  7. I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I felt that way once too (and still do) when my youngest headed off to school. I have been a stay at home mom for 13 years. My youngest is 10. I could never get back into the 9-5 M-F routine. I need to do freelance work. Or at least for a while until I can ease back into the daily grind of a "real" job.

    Enjoy your new freedom. You deserve it. Take a class. Do some crafts. Read a book. There are plenty of things you can do.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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  8. For a start, I'd recommend finding a rep who markets illustrators. There are dozens of reps who help ad agency art directors work with commercial illustrators.

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  9. No ideas here, but I'm sure you'll figure it out, babe.

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  10. How did you score 6 hours of preschool? TOF was gone just barely 3 hours, it was hardly enough time to have a decent cup of coffee.

    You're young, you're talented, you ooze confidence go get em!

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  11. Your talent speaks volumes. You don't need to worry about the how - just create and it will come! Your own Field of Dreams!

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  12. You'll find your niche somewhere and thrive - just like you do in anything else. I'm excited to see where you'll go.

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  13. My youngest starts pre-school in the Fall, and I can't wait! To have scheduled time to myself, not just the occasional lucky nap? Yes, please!
    Everything you say makes sense. When I see someone labeled a 'social media expert/consultant', I always think, "I can do that! Do THEY have a blog/FB page/Twitter?"
    You're so talented...with very real, documentable skills and lots to show for it. Good luck!

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  14. I wouldn't be so self-conscious about being self-taught. That, in itself, speaks volumes.

    My husband is a self-taught programmer and built a very successful career around that that and his passion for film. I asked him for words of wisdom for you and he says degrees don't matter in the art world. Just your portfolio.

    And he's seen lots of them to know. So work it, Girl!

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  15. I can't wait to hear about what you decide on! I applied to a few "social media" jobs a couple of weeks ago. Haven't heard anything back though :-(

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