This was taken with my friends iphone. D*mn you iphone...I want one!
Anyway...here's the deal...It's new project time. I have a writer lined up for this one. Problem is...he's a single guy, with no kids:/ I need to send him a list of Mom stuff/words.
Get what I mean here? Give me a word, or a line, or a description...something that is mom, or mom blogger esq.
Like, I'll go first..."Boo boo kisser", "Bottom wiper", "Short order cook", "Laundry woman", "Chauffeur", "Don't eat dirt!", "Don't make me come upstairs!", "Yoga pants"....
I need to make a long list of words he can draw from...you guys are a sharp bunch, so help me out here, m'kay?
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Sleep deprived
ReplyDeleteEmotional wreck
Helicopter mom
Playground mama
Oh...those are good ones!
ReplyDeletePonytail Mafia
ReplyDeleteBooger wiper
SAHM (Stay at Home Martyr)-my least favorite
Waitress
Alice (from the Brady Bunch)
Geeves
Stroller Pusher
Binky Police
I will have to think of more for you.
How about anything involving bodily fluids ... puke, poop, pee, spit, snot (I could go on and on).
ReplyDeleteOr anything involving snacktime ... goldfish, cheerios, sippy cups, juice boxes, raisin boxes, don't put that [fill-in-the-blank food] up your nose ...
Your biggest fan
ReplyDeleteQueen Bee
If mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy
the dairy farm
ATM
ReplyDeleteThats all I have right now...seems I am always handing out money
Hover Mother
ReplyDeleteHuman Jungle Gym
Because I Said So ( a little old school but it works)
Diapersplosion
It's __________ or Nothing
Snot Patrol
Quick! Get Me The Duck Tape
Get Out Of The Kitchen
I'm Going Potty, Not Having A Party
Did You Fart? (To Husband or oldest child)
Butt Sniffer ( when no one farted)
NO! WE ARE NOT GOING TO WALMART!
Teen list:
ReplyDeleteATM (that one deserves to be listed twice)
Shower mafia
"I'm tired of seeing teen a$$! Pull up your pants!!"
Smells like teen spirit
Soccer mom
Bed checker
"back in the day"
Placenta brain
ReplyDeleteYou get what you get and you don't get upset
Nap fail
Mini Van/Traveling Playroom
Or you could hire a mom who also happens to be a professional copywriter at Chicago's biggest ad agency. Ahem.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I don't work for free, but we could work out a barter (art for copy).
Referee
ReplyDeleteTranslator of toddler language
Detective specializing in missing 'must have' toys
Diaper sniffer
Juice fetcher
Playpen nurse
ReplyDeleteArmchair doctor/mediator/shrink etc...you get where I'm going with this.
"The mothership"...my 20 year old's friends gave me this one. I'm not sure if it's good or not. But judging on the number of times they have all invaded our home, I'm going to go ahead and ASSume it's cool!
No.
ReplyDeleteThings I've said today:
ReplyDeleteDon't make me come up there!
Get your feet off the ceiling! (seriously)
I can't hear you when you whine!
pooptastic. my day has been udderly pooptastic.
ReplyDelete"When I say no, I mean no."
ReplyDelete"STOP WHINING"
"Why are you crying?"
"Why are you crying again?"
"DRINK YOUR MILK or no dessert."
cute pic
did you .... did you ..... did you (do your homework, brush your teeth, take out the garbage)
ReplyDeletetime out
love you to infinity
Well since I have all boys (between the ones who are still home - 9 yr.old twins and 15 yr. old) I'm known as:
ReplyDeleteThe Warden (I oversee all and punish accordingly).
Homework Enforcer
Queen of "you're ruining my life"
Super Shuttle
PTA Dodger
I'm usually heard shouting, "I just want a PIP!" (A poop in peace.) I hate having an audience when I'm trying to take a crap.
ReplyDeleteBaby wipe shower :P
ReplyDeletesaid to my teenager "You should move out now while you still know it all"
ReplyDeletewardrobe consultant and negotiator
ReplyDeletehairstylist
make up artist
the drill sargent
the homework doer/enforcer
the biatch
who farted
who pooped and didn't flush
oh, i could go on and on and on...
"Somebody" left the light on, left the door open, left the food out, left the water on, didn't flush, didn't replace the toilet paper, didn't rinse his plate, forgot to shut the garage door, left the garbage cans at the street, didn't get the garbage cans to the street....
ReplyDelete"Somebody" is code word for anybody but mom.