Open Letter to Melrose Place

Dear Melrose Place,

It was a long, trashy, seedy, campy road we traveled in the 90's. You know what, I watched every sappy a** episode! Every pool cat fight, every couple scramble, every Joe killed my crazy lover, baby stealing, Allison the Billy loving alcoholic I'm moving back to Atlanta episode.

C'mon, you didn't forget the progressive parties we single gals threw every Monday night in your honor? Did ya? We all poured into my 4th floor walk up studio apartment and ate Chinese, chips-n-dip, cheese popcorn, cookies, brownies...all while drinking really cheap wine and screaming at the TV. Until, one by one, my single girls peeled away, and I was the only one left to watch Peter and Amanda get married and walk into the sunset...

We had some good times Melrose...Seriously, how can you forget when Bruce hung himself in Amanda's office with the note "congratulations on your promotion" pinned to him...

What about when, Sydney became a stripper, only to be busted by the boys of Billy's bachelor party:O Sydney *shaking my head*...what a sad little tart you were...or should I say are...or is it soon to be a were again?

Oh...I know, how 'bout when Kimberly came back from the dead...no wait...when Kimberly goes into the bathroom and starts scratching at her forehead, and rips off a wig to reveal her bald a** head with that humongous scar!:O (OMG!) I mean really, you had us at back from the dead...and then you went and threw that in...Holy, well played, Batman *applause*;)

No, no, no...what about when Kimberly BLOWS up Melrose Place...that Kimberly, what a crazy Micheal loving b*tch she was!

Well...now you want to come slithering back into my life like some lame excuse from Michael about how you weren't really sleeping with my sister, you were just laying in bed naked with her...and you want me to take you back. I'm not sure how I feel about this...

Don't get me wrong, what we had was wonderful...totally, it was...but can we every really go back?

What if I'm too grown up (heh heh...I just said "I'm too grown up"...heh heh) and you're too immature for me? (I mean really...Ashlee Simpson...really? Can she sing? or act? or sing?)

I'm just not sure I'm ready to make a commitment to you, only to have you not be the pure soapy trash that I would expect you to be...(not that the bar is set high...or is it low?)

Torn between two MP's,
Nap Warden
p.s. What if I just sit by the pool Tues. night and see what happens? Who knows, I might even rip off my clothes and dive in for a swim;P

p.p.s. I can't believe I ever thought you were cool! (but you were sooo cool {hugs})

19 comments

  1. Must say I never watched this one. I hope it doesn't disappoint you .

    xx

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  2. I never got into it or BH90210 or any of those other crazy damn soaps. My mom ruined me with Dallas

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  3. Write one to Desperate Housewives....
    :))

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  4. LMAO, I was so right there with you but I am not to sure either about coming back. I think the only show I know for sure that could do that and not miss a beat would be Friends! But they couldn't afford all them hollywood stars now they barely could back a few years ago. Anyway I was a Melrose and 90210 junkie ...back then.. now..will have to wait and see....probably NOT.

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  5. Braja-you missing your Desperate Housewives aren't you LOL!

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  6. I loved Melrose Place, along with 90210. I don't think I'll watch the new versions, of either. Remakes are never (ever ever ever) the same.

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  7. I can't do it again. That relationship is OVER. There's no going back. Especially with Ashlee Simpson in the cast....

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  8. I can't handle this! I am so stressed just thinking back on some of those episodes of Melrose Place... seriously, the drama, the depression, the sadness, the unbelievable-ness of it all. But I think I'll at least watch some of the new Melrose! But like C @ Kid Things said, you can't replace the orignal shows no matter what. The original 90210 was the best.

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  9. I'm so torn. I've held tough with 90210 - but Melrose, sweet Melrose, I might have to give it a whirl.

    I'm such a slut. I have to be to look past Ashlee Simpson - wonder how 7th Heaven daddy feels about this turn?

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  10. Excellent. Now I can't get it out of my head. Whereas it was a mild curiosity, I'm pretty sure I won't be able to scoot past it without at least peeking in, now. I guess that's what Tivo is for? Can't wait to read your follow-up!

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  11. I'm on the edge about it...but of course I have to watch it. I don't like the new 90210. But maybe we are just in a different place now. I watch shows now that I used to watch in high school. I think, why the heck did I watch that?

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  12. I didn't really get into the first Melrose Place....

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  13. I'm not going back to that particular apartment complex, though the billboards for the new MP make seem as if the show is set in a brothel. Might be a nice plot twist.

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  14. I never watched Melrose Place, but my husband did. Faithfully.

    Think about that for a moment and then tell me what it means, because I have no idea.

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  15. I definitely remember some of those episodes. Seems like a lifetime ago!

    I'm not sure about the new case though. Is it me, or do they all look like MTV Real World cast members?

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  16. I can not believe you remember all of those MP moments....!!! What a walk down MP memory lane. I was totally into it too and I highly doubt the second round can live up to the first....but boy, it's tempting to try and find out!!

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  17. That was THE MOST FUN to read. Uh huh, you said it all. With hilarity. Love it.

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  18. The show was fun. I was not able to watch every episode. Bless our current DVR so that I will never miss Dexter.

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  19. When I heard an ad for 90210 and Melrose back-to-back it was truly bizarre.

    Shouldn't I be on the couch, passed out from ravioli and cap'n crunch, avoiding my AP Spanish homework.

    Who are these children and why am I driving a station wagon???

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