Ghosts of Dating

My mantra on my travels through single girl hood was "boys. are. dumb."

I said this because I could NEVER explain why they said what they said, and did what they did.

Here are some of the guys I met along my way to Happily Ever After...

Inside Weeknight Guy- This one is really a personal fav. of mine. I had a gal pal named Lana. (You know that girl, who totally acts like a dude.) That was Lana...she was all about the deed and getting out before any cuddling. Until she met I.W.G. (inside weeknight guy).

Basically, Lana fell head over heels for I.W.G. You guessed it, he would only see her inside on weeknights. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out dude has got something else going on...right?

Well, I lost touch with Lana (she always kind of weirded me out, I felt like I was hanging in the men's locker room when I was with her)

Flash forward...I'm at a Halloween party. Batman was hitting on me. My only rule for Halloween is NEVER meet a guy on Halloween. NEVER! Well, I broke my rule. (find me a guy who doesn't look good in a Batman suit) Batman pursued me relentlessly...and I finally gave him my number (HUGE mistake)

I knew the second I saw him in street clothes, no dice pal. I was like (in my head) "can't you just take me to McDonald's and call it a night?" Bah...I went on the date...only to figure out...


It took me weeks to get rid of him. Yes I was immature...I did the whole not answer my phone deal. Looking back now, why didn't I just say "Hey I.W.G. I'm just not that into you." or pull the full on Marsha Brady and say "Something suddenly came up."

Oddly enough, he then ended up hooking up with one of my best friends "just to get back at me" I never understood what that meant? I went on one date, never kissed him, and he had to get back at me...Hello crazy!

Conan O'brien (I'm just not ready for this guy)- No, I did not date the actual Conan O'brien (just his twin)...(OK, not actually his twin, but a guy who really, really looked like him)

Anyway...did you date this guy? We went on the most awesome date. Dinner (no I don't remember the place) after dinner, he took, me to The Old Man Bar (no it is not named The Old Man Bar) The old man bar is actually a bar where old men hang out and drink. You know the place...kind of a dive nothing going on but drinking and TV (dark...humid...a bit stinky)

It was such an odd place to go on a first date...and yet, we talked the whole night away in The Old Man Bar...then he walked me home, and planted one single kiss on me. I thought it was the perfect date, and I had no doubt Conan would call me. I waited...and waited...and WAITED. Conan. Never. Called!

WTF Conan!

I saw him at a party weeks later. Do you know the line Conan fed me? I know you's a line that guys use even today (not like it was that long ago, but men are so different got metro sexuals, and sexting, and facebooking, and Tweeting...How do you date today Sissy?) Bah...I'm off track...Line pahlease Warden...

"Blah, blah, blah (not actually blah, blah blah just pointless drivel about how perfect I am but...)...I'm just not ready for this now."

What is that crap?!? Sissy has been fed that line as well.'re not ready to date a fabulous girl, and you'd rather date idiots and bimbos? Oh...I get it...NOT:P

Wedding ring and a gun in a safe guy- 'Nuff said. (Nutter nutter peanut butter) Seriously...he opened a safe, and showed me a wedding ring in a to a gun...aaaaaand scene!

Talking to Sissy about the guys she meets, is what stirred up these bumps in the memories of dating road. She tells me stories that blow my mind...and of course leads me back to my initial revelation..."boys are dumb:P" (except Husband and The Little Man)

I like, so do not miss dating:P


  1. Oh I met my share of Mr. Wrongs before Mr. Right found his way to me. Most of mine were Conans, which is really great for the ego, you know. NOT.

    While I miss some aspects of single life. I do not miss dating.

  2. "Inside Weeknight Guy" hahahah, I TOTALLY dated one of those. Made me feel sooooo special when he told me I could "come up on Sunday night if I wanted to" lol.

  3. You forgot my favourite... the one that can sum up nearly every guy I've ever dated.. "The Musician."

    Oh jeeeez.

    They're like Conans & I.W.G's rolled together, except totally hotter because they play guitar ;)

  4. OMG...I totally didn't mention...Conan was a musician. You are so right!

  5. I never understood the "no call" after a great date. Never.

  6. I am also glad I no longer have to date. I'd be awful at it, I imagine. I have very little patience so if a guy didn't call I'd probably call him and remind him that he ought to use his manners or something..

  7. My best friend is still single and I can't imagine dating today. Its HARD out there. Guys are full of those lines (girls too I think). I don't think I'd get ANY dates!

  8. While I didn't have the same guys in my past as you did, this cracked me up and reminded me to be grateful I am happily married and out of the fish bowl of dating. My cousin is dating and single and it scares me the types of guys she meets. Yikes!

  9. I'm glad the dating years are over but have to say that I did enjoy that thrill of hope and anticipation where you're thinking, "Maybe this guy . . . " Of course, the disasters and disappointments usually outweigh that sense of hope and excitement, but still.

  10. funny stuff, I met my husband when I was 17 so no stories......sad to say. lol


  11. I really didn't date anyone that I personally thought was too weird. A couple of odd ducks, but not always in my opinion (my mother would disagree with me on this).

  12. I too am so glad that my dating days are behind me. I had about all the "I'm not ready to commit" guys, and "I'll call you, but never does" guys I can take for my lifetime. My husband is great and I wouldn't trade him for all the freedom in the world.

  13. One of the favorites lines I've ever heard uttered came from my then 8-year-old cousin: "Boys are dumb.... and they don't listen."

    Truer words were never spoken.

  14. so funny. dating is REALLY hard. it can be fun for a little bit, but that usually loses steam pretty fast.

    "douchebag guy" comes to mind. no no, the us a category, not a title name. there are way to many of those!

    I am so lucky, my guy, is pretty darn close to perfect!

  15. The thought of dating again gets me through the days I want to clock my husband - cheaper and far more effective than marital counseling.

  16. I will join you in thanking my lucky stars that dating is no longer part of my world.... There are, like, 99 weirdos for each normal one.

  17. That was awesome. I didn't date much, met my husband in highschool, and I loved living vicariously through my girlfriends when they were all meeting dumb duds on the way to the perfect match.

  18. Luckily, I only really dated one guy! ;)

  19. Oh these guys give me the creepies. Great descriptions...

  20. Dating terrifies me. I am terrified for my newly divorced dearest friend,and especially for my girls...Let's hope the prospects improve quickly!

  21. yea so glad I missed the whole dating scene! Married my high school sweetheart. I know puke :)

  22. Inside Weeknight Guy! Love it!

    I had a lot of fun dating but I think it was more fun in retrospect - sure wouldn't want to go back to it!


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