Twilight...M'eh

I know that I am not the target market for this movie. No, I never read any of the books (when do I have time to read?) That being said, I had to see what all the hype was about, so off I went to see Twilight.
I gotta say, I was a bit surprised to walk into the theater in downtown Big City, buy tickets and get seats with no problem. I know this movie is supposed to be hot stuff...so why was the theater empty? As usual, I'm gonna dive in. All spoilers will be typed in white so...highlight if you want to know:)
First off, I am going to be brutally honest (don't hold it against me all you legions of Twilight fans). Holy crapola movie Batman! I felt like I was watching a bad Lifetime movie:P I had Sissy with me, and she read the book. Fwiw, she thought it was stinkola as well!
Nothing happened for sooooo long. Wait, gaze, gaze, wait, gaze, gaze. Then figure out he's a vampire, then long, long, long...run, jump, climb trees (which looked totally cheesy).
About half way through the movie, I just wanted to go down the road to PJ Clarkes and get a bowl of chili. But no, I had started this cheesefest, I was darn well going to finish/torture myself with it. Now we have come upon the cheesiest of the cheese lines "Then the lion feel in love with the lamb." Hold on...I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...
I just felt like nothing happened in the movie. Kiss him already! Whatever...The baseball scene, just dumb. Although, I really wanted that Under Armour shirt than pitcher vamp was wearing. Anyway, I couldn't help but feel like human chick was just a pet. That's the way it seemed. The Vamp. family had adopted a pet human, and now some other Vamps wanted to eat it, so they had to get all territorial and stop them. M'kay, whatever.
Oh, and it took absolutely no amount of thinking to know that Indian boy friend was a wolf. Yeah, I got that right off the bat (but I'm good like that). Yes, actor boy who played Edward was cute. I totally buy him as vamp man. I was sooo not feeling Chicky/pet human. There were times where I could feel how stupid she felt delivering her lines. When she was in the hospital, and he threatens to stay away from her for all of 30 seconds. I could feel how ridiculous she felt! I felt ridiculous watching it! (Where is my chili?)
So, I'm thinking if I was a fifteen year old girl...I'd be all swooning over Edward, and loving the whole longing, tortured love angle. Straight up, it was all way to corny for me. (I mean, who would've thought dating a vampire could end badly?) I need more action. Throw in some wearwolves, maybe some more vamps...how about a shapeshifter. Now you got yourself a movie...Oh wait, they've done that! It's called True Blood (I'll be watching the season finally tonight!)
On the upside, I did go and get my bowl of chili after the movie...yum, yummy!
OK, my fans of Twiglight...be nice, what am I missing here? Did you love it? Why should I read the book?

31 comments

  1. FearandParentinginLasVegasNovember 23, 2008 at 3:37 PM

    I read the books, but haven't made it to the movie yet. I'm going in with super-low expectations. Thanks for the warning!

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  2. I read the books and didn't love the writing but loved the high-concept idea...enjoyed the movie very much. I think, for me, it's b/c I know where it's going and I have alreayd connected with the characters. I think that Meyer has some writing issues...but her concept is very "hollywood" and the movie has grossed way more than even high expectations had anticipated. I'm a 30 year old SAHM...and not embarrassed to say that I enjoyed it a lot. :-)

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  3. I think it's great that you enjoyed it. I'm thinking the people who read the books will dig it more than the folks that haven't (me:P)

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  4. I think that this movie was for people who had already read the book. I enjoyed it because I KNEW what was coming and enjoyed seeing the story palyed out on screen.. but I agree with the cheesiness...

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  5. In my review of the movie, I said it was really imperative to read the book & the first half of Midnight Sun on her website to get the movie. You gotta remember the book is about 500 pages long & they picked snippets to put in the movie. The book is much better.

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  6. I read the books and saw the movie today with my 15 year old daughter. We had a lot of fun reading the books, even for all their cheeziness and horrible messages for young women. We had fun at the movie, went it expecting it to be what it was. The Rob Pattison eye candy made up for the craptastic aspects for me.

    Case in point of bad messages for young women: the jist of the entire book series is: girl loves boy, but when boy breaks up with girl she just can't go on (puh-lease). Then when girl becomes a vampire, her "super power" is not to fly or to read minds or see the future. No, her power is to "love him more than anyone else could." Yeah, that's what I want my daughter to be when she grows up!

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  7. I read the series and really enjoyed the fantasy of it... it literally sucked me in from the beginning.

    I'm not a huge fan of books made into movies - it completely ruins my vision of the characters and how I've imagined them, and frustrates me when they change things from the book in the movie.

    Don't know if I'll see it...

    But hey - wasn't it nice to just get out of the house w/o the kiddies?

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  8. yeah, it TOTALLY requires knowledge of the book (the whole series, in fact) in order to get into the abridged version that would be the "twilight" movie. i haven't seen it yet (probably will -- i have an obsessed 14-year-old daughter), but i have low expectations.

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  9. Well I have never read the books and to be completely honest with you I have no desire to see the movie and even less now after reading your post. Ha! But I know tons of highschoolers that LOVED it.

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  10. I really think you have to read the books first. I read the first one wanting to know what the fuss was about, and then I whipped through the rest of the books. Then I read them all again. The wolves come in Book 2 I think. : )

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  11. Huh. First poor review I've seen, though reviews by others have been those who were totally into the book. Maybe I'll just stick with borrowing a used copy of the paperback - haven't read them yet myself!

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  12. I'm glad I found your candid review. All I've seen up to now is - the actors are so hot! Ugh! It's making me sick! Who cares? I'm much more concerned about the storyline and cinematic quality. Thanks for offering up something with substance.

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  13. i will agree with what you said. i did like the movie but i did feel like it dragged a little at the beginning. I havent read the books so i dont know how much similarity there is with them but like with harry potter movies you cant always compare the book to the movie...(shame as that sounds) i thought that the blonde bad vampire james was hotter than edward though but i think they could have done more with him than they did...like it was to easy for them to get rid of him in my opinion...

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  14. I plan to not read the book or see the movie...but Im odd that way (please to also see HARRY POTTER)

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  15. I am reading the books and find them to be okay. I don't get all the hubub. My 14 year old however is lapping them up like an Irishman does whiskey.

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  16. I loved the movie, but like everyone else it is because I read the books. I liked seeing it played out. I had many issues with the books to be honest. The way Bella can't live without him always kind of bothered me. I just took it as the whole idea behind Vampires, they have something that makes you fall for them.

    Part of why I loved the books & even the movie is it is just fun. Nothing upsetting to me, I can forget about my problems, etc.

    With the way you felt about the movie, I don't think you'd like the books. They are very long & can seem drawn out at times. I got mine from the library just in case I didn't get into them :)

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  17. I haven't read the book or seen the movie, but neither one really appeals to me. Again, not the target demo at all...

    In any case, I have always found books to be way better than the movies.

    Well, that is except for the movies my hubby works on. Those are always excellent... :-P

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  18. I think the movie would have been better if you'd read the books. The books are way better and you'd have a little more insight as to what was going on since the movie rushed it a bit. I really enjoyed it but I read all the books and Midnight Sun as well.

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  19. Ok I'm going through everyones comments and it seems if you read the book you would have a connection. I can understand that, but I'm an action gal like you, if they ain't got none..I want waste my money.... Goodness I already done that once this year on a horrible movie.... I might have to post about that one..

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  20. Well, books are always so much better than the movie, so I am going to read the book (one of these days!) first. Then if the book sucks me in I might rent the movie when it comes out.

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  21. I read the book and did like it. I haven't seen the movie yet. I've heard mixed reviews from people as well. I heard the rest of the series is good. I am currently on New Moon and heard they are making that one into a movie as well.

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  22. We picked this for our book club this month, but I didn't get a chance to read it. A friend loaned it to me, though, and I'm going to try to read it while I'm off this week.
    Thanks for the review.

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  23. Thanks for the review! I've been wondering what all the hype was about. I just didn't get it.

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  24. I know that these books were written for teens, but for vampire "romance" done right, check out Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake series. It rocks (until you get sick of Chapter1:Anita has sex Chapter2:Anita kills someone/something, repeat). Definately adults only, but no namby/pamby girly crap!

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  25. Never watched it yet but the book is just as corny!

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  26. Go see Vicky Cristina Barcelona (the new Woody Allen). Funny and cute.

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  27. Why you should read the books: because they are better than the movie.

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  28. I haven't seen the movie or read the books. However, I was considering seeing the movie. So glad I stopped by before forking over $10 to see it.

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  29. The teen girls are sure "ga-ga" for it!!! Last weekend my husband and I went to see the new Bond movie...the theatre was JUST PACKED with teen girls "drueling" over the main star of the movie...yeah, I don't know his name, that's how much I care! The movie appears to be stupid! No offense to my young crowd friends;) I had my young years too...following the latest "hype"!!

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