I know that I am not the target market for this movie. No, I never read any of the books (when do I have time to read?) That being said, I had to see what all the hype was about, so off I went to see Twilight.
I gotta say, I was a bit surprised to walk into the theater in downtown Big City, buy tickets and get seats with no problem. I know this movie is supposed to be hot stuff...so why was the theater empty? As usual, I'm gonna dive in. All spoilers will be typed in white so...highlight if you want to know:)
First off, I am going to be brutally honest (don't hold it against me all you legions of Twilight fans). Holy crapola movie Batman! I felt like I was watching a bad Lifetime movie:P I had Sissy with me, and she read the book. Fwiw, she thought it was stinkola as well!
Nothing happened for sooooo long. Wait, gaze, gaze, wait, gaze, gaze. Then figure out he's a vampire, then long, long, long...run, jump, climb trees (which looked totally cheesy).
About half way through the movie, I just wanted to go down the road to PJ Clarkes and get a bowl of chili. But no, I had started this cheesefest, I was darn well going to finish/torture myself with it. Now we have come upon the cheesiest of the cheese lines "Then the lion feel in love with the lamb." Hold on...I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...
I just felt like nothing happened in the movie. Kiss him already! Whatever...The baseball scene, just dumb. Although, I really wanted that Under Armour shirt than pitcher vamp was wearing. Anyway, I couldn't help but feel like human chick was just a pet. That's the way it seemed. The Vamp. family had adopted a pet human, and now some other Vamps wanted to eat it, so they had to get all territorial and stop them. M'kay, whatever.
Oh, and it took absolutely no amount of thinking to know that Indian boy friend was a wolf. Yeah, I got that right off the bat (but I'm good like that). Yes, actor boy who played Edward was cute. I totally buy him as vamp man. I was sooo not feeling Chicky/pet human. There were times where I could feel how stupid she felt delivering her lines. When she was in the hospital, and he threatens to stay away from her for all of 30 seconds. I could feel how ridiculous she felt! I felt ridiculous watching it! (Where is my chili?)
So, I'm thinking if I was a fifteen year old girl...I'd be all swooning over Edward, and loving the whole longing, tortured love angle. Straight up, it was all way to corny for me. (I mean, who would've thought dating a vampire could end badly?) I need more action. Throw in some wearwolves, maybe some more vamps...how about a shapeshifter. Now you got yourself a movie...Oh wait, they've done that! It's called True Blood (I'll be watching the season finally tonight!)
On the upside, I did go and get my bowl of chili after the movie...yum, yummy!
OK, my fans of Twiglight...be nice, what am I missing here? Did you love it? Why should I read the book?