The Funk

You know what...I am in a funk:P Did you have a crappy day on Monday? Everyone I know had a crappy day on Monday (I did). Thing is, I know exactly why I am in a funk. I don't know if that makes it better, or worse.
It's not because I'm sick, and my back hurts, and I have laryngitis (I get one day of sexy Demi Moore voice, then it's just squeaks). I have almost completely stopped watching the news. I can't take anymore economy in the toilet news. It just bums me out:P The auto industry, bailouts, blech...I don't even want to get into it. That probably adds to my funk, but it's not the cause of my funk. I try not to make my blog a dumping ground, but I feel totally fake if I don't address the fact that I'm in a funk.
Why is Warden in a funk? Drumroll please...................I want more. What I mean by that is, I want to do more. I learned Illustrator, I know Photoshop, I just want to do more with it. Stupid thing is, I know I am not explaining this right at all. Why isn't wrangling kiddos every day enough for me? It is totally and completely a full time job! Yet, here I am in a funk because I want to turn my little blog design/illustration business into something more. I want to know more Illustrator, I want to do more with it. Does that make sense? I am doing some self therapy with this post...
Crazier than that, I know exactly where this came from. I had little pangs of this...Then I went to the Bro's studio to edit my commercial, and I got program envy. I really have searched my soul on this one...it is not jealousy. I just feel like I have so much potential at my fingertips, and I just don't know how to use it. Maybe I'm just crazy...Does any of this make sense? Tap, tap, tap...is this thing on? I think I'm just crazy...

24 comments

  1. Your not crazy!! I think anyone who has something they are passionate about and KNOW they can take to the next level get a tad antsy about the process. Its like you can almost taste it but don't know what step to take next to move in that direction. Girl I feel you more than you know!!

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  2. No way crazy! I think you should develop a bigger business plan.

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  3. no you are not crazy, totally normal. hopefully with some time you will figure out how to fill that need.

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  4. I totally hear you. I'm getting the same hankerings. This always happens when my youngest kid is about 2. Blogging has helped this time around, but I definitely know what you mean. Good luck finding an outlet for your creative talent!!!

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  5. Yes your crazy because Mrs Marathon/Designer gosh make me exhausted reading your post. I think in all, if you are as passionate about going beyond the design business then go for it. You are good at what you do.....

    so I say go for it!!!!

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  6. We already know you're crazy, so that part was easy.

    Cyn, I've watched you grow in your talents and your illustrations and your abilities and you are amazing. You have a gift for this and I think you should go for it.

    That feeling, go with it. Trust it. You will thrive.

    Just remember us little peeps, K? :-)

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  7. Oh, God, no! Your not crazy. I totally get it. My guess is most SAHM's get it. Especially if there's any creativity or competitiveness in you. You need an outlet and changing diapers and pouring juice over and over again...well, let's face it, we love them, but THAT isn't stimulating! You'll find a way to get what you need. Hey, that's what the funk's for. Motivation.

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  8. Here's an idea. DO more, but do it for really cheap for a while. Get your name out in as many places as possible. Ask people to put advertising ads on their blogs as a partial payment. Ask bigger blogs to use your experimental headers and layouts for a week as an advertisement. Be aggressive!! Your stuff rocks. You definitely CAN do more.

    BUT.

    You don't HAVE to do more to be a valuable person. Know that every tush you wipe, every hug you give, every truck you push across that floor IS important. And also? It's temporary. Being a SAHM is NOT a permanent position. It is so fleeting, this time of parenting toddlers. You WILL have time to do all the fabulous designs you want to. Especially when the kids are at school all day and off at friends' houses or sports/drama/etc. each night.

    And I TOTALLY take offense at your having a crappy Monday!! Did I smell bad?? :)

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  9. I have to say I am with Tracy here. I can't say it better than her so I won't even try.

    It is a reminder I need sometimes too. They are only little once. I want to make the absolute most of I can.

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  10. I think all SAHM's deal with this at any given time. I love being home but my brain yearns for a little more challenge then poopy dipes and ring around the rosie.

    This has been a really crappy week and it seems like it should be Friday already!

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  11. Don't suppress your drive. Explore it.

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  12. I will agree that often times it feels like Groundhogs Day here... same "stuff", different day.

    I've never wanted to go back to work after my 1st munchkin came along - though I do find myself longing for something... what it is, I have no idea.

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  13. Oh Warden, There's nothing wrong with wanting more outta life and the things in it. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be able to do better. Of course to the outside it seems that you have so much already. Kids, design, marathon running.... But I think you just want to be better and do better. I understand. If you have a passion, GO FOR IT! Be all that you can be. If you don't, you won't forgive yourself and may end up in a world of resentment. Good Luck.

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  14. I don't think you are crazy I can totally understand the need to feel like you have accomplished something and then something else and so on. And I'm not referring to laundry and dishes ;)

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  15. Oh yeah Nap Warden - I do get it. I suffer from this kind of thing a lot - one reason why I even started my bloggy thing...BUT I agree with the comment that says this stuff happens to anyone who has a creative edge to them. And the problem is that the creative edge is never really satisfied - cause to me (someone who knows JACK about you obviously) it seems you have A LOT of creative things going on...but you want more. So you'll keep reaching for the next creative expression your whole life probably because that's who you are...

    Enjoy the funk - you'll be out soon I'm sure.

    (WOW - what a ramble...Happy Thursday...yikes)

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  16. OMG my whole month has sucked.

    anyway sounds like you should spend a lot more time working with the programs and designing more, it sounds like that is your passion.

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  17. You're not crazy. I definitely get it. I think you DO have potential at your fingertips. It's just trying to figure out how to use it, find the time, and grow. I feel the same with writing.

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  18. although I can't understand the potion about illustration and stuff, I can def relate with wanting more. I think everyone experiances that. I usually want more shoes and can't seem to figure out how to make more money, while doing less to achieve that.

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  19. You make sense. I sit here with CS3 and am lost, I can only do the bare basics. I have lightroom and get so lost that I gave up on using it and we have dreamworks and some flash program thing cuz we were going to design our own sites but I am again LOST! I need to go take a class or something. :(

    Funk, yeah, we got some.

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  20. Sounds like you have a real yearning there. Sounds like love, actually.

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  21. Go for your goal!

    And yes, I had a crappy Monday. This has been a kinda crappy week, actually.

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  22. I got it! You just have to have another blog makeover giveaway (so I can win) and have the winner post your button on their site for more exposure. You just haven't been 'discovered' yet. Talent like yours will be though. It's all about self promotion for now.

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