Sour Peach

Talk about jumping right back in...I got home at 7:00 last night, and this morning it was toddler time. I am tired, my legs are sore, and it is so hard to keep up with the tots!
Now, don't get me wrong here...Miss Peach is my sweet little girl. It's just that she can be so obnoxious. Is it horrible for me to say that? Is this just what it's like to have a three year old? I feel like if there was something else I could be doing, maybe she wouldn't act this way. I don't know if that is fair to say. I just find myself wondering...
Every day is a constant battle to get her dressed. Does it always have to be a war to get clothes on her? She takes away her brothers toys, not because she wants them, just because she does. If I ask for them back, she will throw them down the stairs, scream and run away. Why is my sweet little peach acting this way?
I have made a pact with myself not to yell. I don't think yelling does anything but escalate the situation. That being said, how the heck to I get her to do anything? I swear, everything is a battle! Again I ask, is this just three? I try so hard to be consistent. I have conversations with her about how her actions make me, or her brother, or her Daddy feel. I try to calmly diffuse situations as they arise...but it is really hard navigating with a three year old. What am I missing here?

25 comments

  1. Just a phase I'm sure. But man, it is draining isn't it? Ben is such a freaking handful right now and he is only a year and a half. I'm dreading two.
    My three year old seems to be an emotional basket case. Happy and fine one minute and screaming and crying the next. It is like I live in a house of tiny psychos.

    ;)

    Hang in there. It gets better. :)

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  2. man, It's not you. It's them.

    If I told my son that we're having candy bars for breakfast, he would still yell and scream, "Noooooo, Mommy!" and melt into a puddle.

    I've turned into a total recluse since he refuses to get dressed, and some days... wait, who are we kidding, MOST days, I'm too worn out to fight it.

    Hang in there, NW. We're in for a bumpy ride.

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  3. Four words... "1-2-3 Magic"

    A Book by Dr. Thomas W. Phelan

    Couldn't have disciplined my older three without it and now introducing it to my 22 month old. Your 'peach' will do great with it since she seems to like the control and you're avoiding the yelling. We still use it with the 12 yr old only in 'code'. It's a great re-read, too just to brush up on the non-yelling!

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  4. Uh oh...not that I have a 3 yr old, but it does sound like something of a phase. We seem to be in and out of many different ones at 19 months over on my end. Whew!

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  5. Yes. THREE is harder than TWO. Let no one tell you differently. My reasoning? You can excuse a 2 year old for throwing tantrums and not listening, they're just babies and still learning. But at 3? They're doing a lot of it "on purpose" and you can SEE that they know better, but can't control their emotions yet.

    I can hardly wait for their puberty, how about you?

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  6. I am there right now too. My favorite little man is driving me bonkers lately. I swear you wrote that post about him. This is just a faze right?!

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  7. who named them the terrible 2s?? three is pretty nasty, too. hang in there. i leave you with my mantra:

    this too shall pass....

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  8. You're not missing anything at all. That's the way it is. You just need a zen-like acceptance of it until the phase is over.

    I'll second the comments about wine and 1-2-3 magic though.

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  9. terrible threes is what is happing. you are great by taken a vow not to yell. I try to do the same, but some times I grow like five heads and some kind of mom monster come out... ERRRR watch out kiddie poo...

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  10. I feel your pain! I've got 2, count em, 2 three year olds and a 4 year old. We are always in a phase of some sort.

    My dr. recommended that 123 book too. If I can stop screaming like a crazy person long enough I'll have to check it out.

    As far as the clothes go give her a choice of what to wear...this OR this. One of my 3yo's dresses herself all the time. The other one says "I cain't!" (yea, we're southern.)

    Just remember...it's not you.

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  11. My second child is almost four, thank the Lord! I often say, "God Bless the 3 year olds." Three is difficult. My friend recommended I'm Three Years Old by Jerri Wolfe. It is written from a three year old's perspective. I read it once, but probably should have read it a dozen times. Good luck, and remember all of us moms who are walking through this age with you!

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  12. anglophilefootballfanatic.comOctober 7, 2008 at 1:58 PM

    It's three. And, it comes in waves. There will be days of difficulty followed by wonderful. You just never know when 3 will rear its ugly head. (Today is a 3 day over here.)

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  13. I am ANYTHING but a parenting expert, but I just finished reading 1-2-3 Magic, and it was really helpful. The strategies really help! Hang in there!

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  14. No, you're not horrible - she is being obnoxious in the same way my almost 3 year old is obnoxious. Boundaries, she's testing boundaries - I have to keep telling myself that. Personally, I'm working on being the mature one (and not sinking to her level) and waiting out this phase. Can't really deal with parenting/child rearing books. This too shall pass...

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  15. Wish I could help you, honey. I am just learning about age two.

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  16. Yup, my daughter is the SAME way. Dressing everyday and night is a nightmare. I seriously think age 3 has been much harder than 2 for us.

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  17. i have a book to recommend: "You can't make me, but i can be persuaded" by Cynthia Tobias. it has helped at our house.

    also, we have a marble jar to reinforce good behavior rather than always focusing on the negative. when she does a chore without being asked she gets a marble in her happy jar, when she says yes mam without me having to remind her...a marble. when caught sharing with her brother, etc. it has helped me to notice all of the good that goes on in the middle of all that makes me understand why some animals eat their young!

    good luck! i'll be back to read the rest of your comments. i'm all for some extra advice/help from all the moms out there!

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  18. NOOOO! Don't tell me this. My son is about to turn 2 and I was hoping this phase would be over in the next few months. If I'm dealing with this behavior in another year I think I'll have to start hitting the sippy cup myself.

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  19. i heard 3 is the terrible twos with attitude !!! let's just say 4 is helping out either. my sass battles all day long. i can tell it is a sense of her trying to see how far she can push it. some days/weeks she does great and then she takes 15 steps back and it is crazy. i curse her under my breath......yes I DO

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  20. Now I have something to really look forward too! I think it has a lot to do with the lack of emotional control. Another good read is Beyond Timeout. Thank goodness for Merlot, right!

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  21. There is always a phase. When you get past the dressing battles and the toy snatching, you'll move on to refusing to use the toilet and not eating food with the letter "t" in it. THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING! And as they get older, they get weirder, I swear. My almost 20 year old son still baffles me as much as he did when he was three, and he's in freaking college now!

    Take deep breaths, put YOURSELF in time out in a room with the door shut when you feel you're losing your cool, and CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES. I personally am not above running errands with a kid in their PJs all day long. If that's the worst thing that happens that day, you're on a roll : )

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  22. Three is much harder than Two and FOUR tops them all, for the better. I remember what clothing battles I had with my daughter at 3. I would stick her on the porch in winter when she demanded wearing her sundress with no tights or a long sleeve shirt underneath.

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  23. It's Three. Three is an angry, vindictive bitch who makes kids do things that they freakin' know not to do. She keeps peeking her head out around these parts, so we can drown our sorrows in wine together.

    At least they're cute.

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  24. Sounds like she is having a hard time dealing with her emotions and expressing herself in an appropriate way. Also craving to have some control over her world.

    You could try working with her on appropriate ways to deal with emotions. Show what to do when she is mad.

    Also, give tons of opportunity to have control. Give her choices that don't matter to you. What color of cup, which shirt to wear, whether she puts on her coat or her shoes first when leaving the house. and so on. The more control she has over her world the less likely she will be to desparately try to grasp it.

    Parenting is hard, but they are certianly sooooooo worth it, huh?

    HUGS!

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