9.12.2007

A Question of Time Out

Being that it is Works for Me Wed., I thought I would pose this to the group. Miss Peach is two years and one month. She is a wonderful child, but is definitely in the "terrible twos". There are times when she needs a parent imposed break. I had tried just picking her up and plunking her in her crib when the tantrum became out of control. She usually screamed for about 5-10 min. and then fell asleep, or calmed down and played in her crib. She obviously needed a break. A friend (with a child the same age) mentioned to me that while this was a good "idea", putting her in the crib might mess up her sleeping habits because Miss Peach would eventually equate sleep/crib, with punishment. I see her point. She said she puts her little one in the bathroom and shuts the door for about 5 min. That seems like a whole nother can of worms (with messing up the potty training routine) as well as being potentially dangerous. On the Today Show, there was a woman talking time out, using a "time out mat" with a timer on it, along with other products from a group moms on the edge. I think Miss Peach is just a bit to young to stay in a time out zone, but soon. So I ask, what is working for you? While time outs work for me, is there a better way? What will work for a young two year old? I need some advice.......Thanks!

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9 comments:

  1. When my son was young, we did time outs in bed. It didn't seem to mess with him, although his time outs were for one minute. As he got older and was in a toddler bed (a little before two because he had a little brother coming), we put a gate up at his door and he had time outs in his room behind the gate. Only the last three months or so (as he neared three) did he start being able to sit in a time-out spot (the couch in our play room). We have always used a little timer -- one minute for each year of his age. That's what's worked for us!
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  2. My son is three and a half. For his timeouts, he has to sit in a living room chair. TV goes off, no toys, 3 minutes on the kitchen timer. If he throws a fit about the timeout, I walk him to his room and have him sit on his bed. Again, no toys allowed, and the 3 minutes starts over. When the timer goes off, I ask him to come see me. I have him apologize specifically ("I'm sorry for pushing my sister down," not just "sorry.") We hug and kiss, and go on with our day.
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  3. We use the bedroom, but not specifically the bed, for time outs for our two-year-old. He has a timer and when it rings, he can come join the family again. We also use his room for non-punishment "time-outs" (for lack of a better word)...when he is just too fussy/whiney to be part of the family, we remind him that if he needs to fuss, he should do it in his room. He's actually starting to get good about going there on his own!
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  4. When our girls were smaller, we did timeouts on the living room couch - they just had to sit still. Now we use a kitchen chair pulled away from the table (or anything else interesting to grab onto or fidget with). My littlest one is only 19 months but we're already having tantrum issues, so I know we'll be dealing with where to do timeouts for her too soon.
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  5. We did the same as sandi. Time outs in the bedroom with a baby gate up at the doorway.
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  6. My son is two years and one month - just the same as Miss Peach - and we do our timeouts on the landing of the staircase. (No toys to play with there!) He must sit with his back against the wall for two minutes (one minute per year of age) and then apologize. Then we go on with our day.

    He is plenty old enough to sit still for that amount of time. I bet Miss Peach could handle it too.

    Good luck!
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  7. Mine are now seven and (days away from being) five. I've used this technique since #1 was 18 months or so.

    I'd put the kid(s) in his/her room and say, "Whenever you're ready to follow the rules, come on back down. Take some time, put yourself back together, think about it. And when you're ready to be the grown-up kid I know you are, come on down."

    Yes, even at 18 months I'd say something to that effect.

    By giving them the choice of when to come back down, they have a lot of control -- which is a big part of what they were seeking by throwing the tantrum. But I taught them I wouldn't stand for tantrums or bad behavior; what they can control is being GOOD.

    So far, it's worked.

    Good luck!
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  8. I think there is a difference between discipline "time outs" and "rest time" for a little one who is overtired or overstimulated and needs a break! What you are describing seems more like "I need a rest!" vs. a discipline time out. My little ones both did just fine taking "rests" in their beds with toys or books--sometimes they fell as sleep, and sometimes just played! As long as it's a limited period of time. BUT I would be very careful using cribs/beds for "discipline" time outs as Miss Peach gets older because it can be very tough on sleeping routines for many kids (that's my pediatrician side talking!) We used the corner--my oldest is 3yr and the same corner is still working. (BTW--the bathroom time out definitely scares me as a pediatrician--lots of ER visits by kids who get into things in the bathroom!)
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  9. We always use a chair pulled to an unintersting corner or wall of the room which he did from the time he was around 2 I think. It always amazes me still that he will actually stay there. My sister still uses the highchair minus the tray for her 3 year old (surprised she still fits but she does and she is bigger than most 3 year olds).
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