Open Letter to Madonna...

Oh Madge, can I call you Madge? It's time we have a chat. We've come a long way, you and I...marriages, kiddos...What's that, you don't recognize me? Oh, well allow me to introduce myself...I'm the Generation X that grew up worshiping your every move. I suppose it's hard to tell without my permed hair in a scrunchie, oh-rings, and lace gloves. Yes, now you know me, I am an origianal Madonna Wannabe!
Well my dear, I have been with you every step of the way, singing and dancing through Celebrate, Like a Virgin (oh did that one piss off the parents), Cherish, Ray of Light...you name it, I was there. 'Cause that's what it's about, right? Music making the people come together? I'm thinking you should be savvy enough to figure out where you lost me, but in case for some odd reason you aren't, I'm gonna clue you in.
It's not that the last couple of times I saw you, I had to plunk down over $100! It's not that even though you had no opening act, you were more than an hour and a half late to the show. I get it, you have to be a diva. I mean, you are Madonna, right? Here's the thing, the last couple of times you came around, you lectured me on religion, world economics, and politics. You have nailed yourself to crosses, and even marched around in Nazi garb while showing pics of President Bush. This really isn't what I had in mind when my best friend and I hustled to get Madonna tickets!
What I can't figure out is, who put it in your head that we, your public, care about your political views? I mean, a fat lot of good your support did for Gen. Wesley Clark, right? Now, I fear your naivety might be showing, and it doesn't look good on you. It has come to my attention that on your latest lecture tour, you are showing pictures of McCain and Hitler, followed by pictures of Obama and Gandhi. Really?!? Is that the best you can do? C'mon Madge, no matter how bad one might think McCain is or is not for this country, he is not nor will he ever be the likes of Hitler. To liken him to that belittles how truly evil Hitler was.
On that same notion, even if Obama becomes President, and let's say best case scenario he closes the gap between the rich and the poor, and creates new jobs for Americans, and mends fences between the US and the Muslim world, and lowers Americas dependence on foreign oil (none of which he has done yet). Would that put him in the same league as Gandhi? I'm thinkin' no!
The problem here is that in your middle aged attempt to be relevant, all you have really done is give the Rush Limbaugh's of the world ammo against Mr. Obama. This is an election where the Obama camp is trying desperately to get the American public to view him not as a celebrity or a star, but as an every day man (did you not listen to Michelle Obama's speech?). Thanks for nothin', Madge!
I'm thinking you should take your political views and put them in the closet with your pointy bras and close the door. You're thinking too hard. All we really want is for you to dance and sing Borderline, thank you very much. When you get back to that, I'll be here...waiting. Perhaps you should leave the politicking to Bono...he's way better at it than you.
No hard feelings m'kay,

Nap Warden

Oh, and in case your wondering why you should care about my measly little opinion...I am your base. Yeah, I am the one who bought all of your cd's, including the greatest hits. I am the one who buys your concert tickets (until now). I am the one who even goes to see your movies (and some of them are real stinkers). One of the first things you will learn should you ever actually go into politics is "always play to your base"...Just a little somethin' to think about:)

39 comments

  1. I wholeheartedly second that. And add about 17 more celebrities to that open letter.

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  2. What a post! I love Madonna... I still love her music and think she looks amazing for being 50. However, I have always felt that some of her views on politics are over the top...along with other celebs who do the same. Awesome view! You are right..good-bye to the pointy bra. :)

    I dressed up like Madge one year for Halloween...Like A Virgin era.

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  3. i love this and yes just like diaperdaires says....we need this to be sent to clooney, and depp and julia and all those loud mouths who never really OFFER a solution...honestly they down american and yet what they have they could not have anywhere else for what they do.

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  4. I just fell a little bit more in love with you.
    :-)
    This is absolutely perfect. Ditto, Ditto and oh yes HELL YES!

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  5. AWESOME!

    Can I add a P.S.? Madonna . . . lay off the gym for a bit and welcome the Church of Haagan Daaz into your life - at 50 years of age you look amazing . . . and alarmingly similar to the skinless, muscled torso that we used to learn about muscles and tendons in my high school biology class. Seriously - you scare the crap out of me.

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  6. I have never been a Madonna fan. Definitely liked some of her hits, but never desired to listen to more than one at a time.

    ANYWAY. I get your point. Politics and music don't always mix well...

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  7. Amen! I heard about that and no matter whose side of the aisle you are on it appears ignorant!

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  8. That was great!!! Love Madonna's music but could care less who's she's voting for. Why on earth would she pull that crap at a concert? I came to Vogue not see her salute to Obama!!!!

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  9. Great post! I was never a huge Madonna fan but I do like her music and I think she's got talent but yeahhhhh, shut up already lady. You are an entertainer....ENTERTAIN! And I agree that she needs to put on just a wee bit of flesh...the skin, bones, tendons and muscles are a bit yuck...but she does look fantastic otherwise!

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  10. I have loved her music from the beginning too. Is it really that big of shock that she would do that? Really???
    She's always been one to bring on the controversy. And last I knew, entertainer or not, we all have the right to freedom of speech.

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  11. You. Are. My. HERO!

    Is there a spot at the bottom for all of us to add our names? LOL, like a petition...Bwahahahaha

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  12. Hmmm...Aubrey, I think you missed my point. I am certainly not attempting to take away Madonna's freedom of speech. I am just saying that A) What she is doing is not helping the cause of Senator Obama, and B) What we really want from her is to sing and dance...off stage, she can say whatever she wants...When she is on stage, I am paying her!

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  13. VERY well put! thanks! Rock on Nap warden.

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  14. AMEN!!!!
    Whew! Somebody had to say it. And I think you can add Oprah to that list of people-that-need-to-shut-their-mouths too, in my opinion. Ugh.

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  15. Wouldn't it be cool if she read this?

    What is most irritating is how concertgoers are a captive audience. You paid to see "Borderline" and you get political rantings.

    I don't call that freedom of speech. I call that misleading. False advertising, if you will.

    She can be political all she wants when CNN interviews her, when she gives a speech at the convention, when she jots down her thoughts on her blog . . . but please, please stick to singing and gyrating when on stage :)

    In other words . . . I agree wholeheartedly.

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  16. AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!!!

    Go nap warden,that was Rockin post!

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  17. Good points! And this makes me especially glad that my hub and I didn't spend $350 (each!) to see her in Chicago this October. I don't need to hear any more political lectures.

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  18. I think comparing anyone to Hitler is not a good idea, he really was an evil monster, and even though I am a tree hugging, acorn gathering, bra burning liberal (actually I'm not any of those except for a liberal!), I still think there is a fine line in the name calling of politics.

    Thanks for stoping by my blog.

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  19. LOL!!!! I love this letter. Did I hear somewhere that Madonna blogs? Anyway, I hope she happens upon this post of yours.

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  20. I'm going in November, and you're right, all I want to do is see her sing and dance. I hate how celebrities just push their political views on us. That is not why I like you. If I want to know someone's opinion on politics, I'll ask for it. I'm not one to have stuff force fed to me.

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  21. This is AWESOME! NAP WARDEN FOR PRESIDENT!

    I hate open political activism in celebs, and her concerts are particularly annoying. She can take quite complex and nuanced issues and layer on her own simplistic and often wrong opinion. GAG

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  22. Can I get a whoop whoop? Oh heck yeah. Seriously, don't we pay these people to like, sing? or dance? or act? Last time I checked they weren't on any political advisory boards for a reason.

    No matter how well meaning these people are, they make a mockery of those they are trying to help.

    And could you also tell her that she is waaaay to skinny and muscular right now. ewwwwww.

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  23. the name madge reminds me way too much of vag. ;)

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  24. Yeah, she should just stick with A-ROD.

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  25. I think all the celebs should stay out of it - just as Kid Rock put it the other day. You are NOT a politician - yet they all think they are!

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  26. anglophilefootballfanatic.comAugust 28, 2008 at 2:17 PM

    Thank you! I hate when illiterate celebs try to influence the educated masses on their political views. Esp. when they make fools of themselves doing it.

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  27. I am seeing madonna for the first and probably last time in november, I felt as though my life would be incomplete without one experience of being in the same room with her (oh and about 10,000 other people).

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  28. One of my pet peeves is when entertainers try to use their fame to influence people like that. As you pointed out, I'm not buying their CDs or going to their shows to hear a political lecture. So they should keep it to themselves.

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  29. oh hell naw that women is crazy along with about 50 more celebrities...

    AMEN!!!

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  30. Brilliant.

    Can you please write a similar letter to Sean Penn?

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