Can You Tweet Now?

Why did I agree to go see Pandorum? I know I've had this crush on Dennis Quaid for like...ever. Is he still even hot...or is he just old? I don't know anymore:P Sissy calls him my boyfriend...thanks for that Sissy. (I wanted to go see The Invention of Lying...although I can't quite pin down my feelings for Ricky Gervais *I think it's a crush...don't tell Sissy*)

Not far into the movie, I reach in my pocket and check my emails on my new cell phone. I realize I should be more interested in the dude on the screen waking up from hyper-sleep to an empty spaceship...and yet, here I am checking emails...



OMG...I totally forgot to tell you about my new cell phone! Yeah...my Motorola Krazor (that I have had for 3 years) up and died on me:( I decided "gosh darn it...I'm gonna get me some Twitter on my cell phone!"

You'd think that would not be a hard call...right? Yeah it's easy, unless your Verizon store is smack dab in the heart of The Twilight Zone! (which apparently mine is)

First time I go in...I cheerfully say "I want me some Twitter on my cell phone:)" Well, they set me up with a Verizon phone. It's cute, has a little keyboard...I'm happy, 'til I get home and realize I can't see my little blog on it:( If I'm gonna go this whole web on the phone route, I am gonna need to be able to see my blog...ya know?

Second time I go in...(same day) "I'm gonna need a phone that will show my web page." No problem, she switches me out for another Verizon phone, and tells me "All I need to do is load a Twitter app. to the phone." OK...off I go. Problem is (I find this out after about an hour on the Verizon help line....) you can't load apps. onto this phone:P Thanks for nothing lady:(

Third time I go in...(next day) "I got a problem...you can't load apps on this phone." The Verizon guy (who is not the jolly guy on the commercials, you know, the one who totally has your back and cares what you think...he's not there) I get a crabby guy who shows me Twitter on my phone and sends me away like I'm the idiot (which I am not). Well, I get home to tweet...wait for it....I can send out tweets, but I can't respond to tweets. How lame is that?!?

Sooooo...I spend about another hour on the phone with the happy Verizon help line. I actually left my body and watched myself on the phone with the Verizon help guy saying "I can tweet, but I can't respond to tweets, and that is just unacceptable." (chalk that up to things you never thought you'd say:P) He then says "Oh no...you're a tweeter. I can't imagine what horrible tweets you have been sending out about us." Oddly enough...I had never even considered tweeting about my Verizon issues. (Hmmmmm...perhaps I need to take some dealing with big business via Twitter classes from Dooce?)

Let's just jump to the fifth time (yes...fifth time!) I go into the store...I actually hand the guy the bag and say "I currently don't have a contract with you, right? Can I just take my phone number, cancel my service, and go across the street to AT&T and get an Iphone." I really didn't want to do this. All I wanted was for them to sell me the cute, pink Blackberry Curve in the ad. For some odd reason, every time I had the phone in my hand, they would. not. sell. it. to. me. Only after I threatened to leave, did they sell me that phone. I really don't get it? They finally sold me the pink Blackberry Curve, and I LOVE it:)

In case your wondering...ever since I got Twitter on my phone...I have had nothing to Tweet about...figures:P



Oh...Pandorum...meh. Everybody knows that if you wake up from hyper-sleep to an empty ship, it's a pretty safe bet that there's some creepy alien mutation eating humans on the ship. Follow the dude who saves you from the human eating mutation...chances are, he's been around the block a few times and can get you where you need to go. Oh, and if you encounter a human eating alien mutation child...don't hesitate to whack it, just cause it's little. If you don't take it out...it's gonna eat you just like the big ones do...dummy! Better yet...just go back to hyper-sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

23

I Just Yike Him

I picked up Miss Peach from school the other day. Miss Beth (wonderful classroom assistant) pulled me aside and said...

"Miss Peach is a wonderful little girl, and all you have to do is hear her talk, and you just fall in love with her. I don't know what happened today, but Miss Peach hauled off and hit a little boy, really hard, in the stomach. She didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with that. Just try to talk to her tonight, and see what was going on."

I hate to admit, that my first thought was..."Please don't be Kane, please don't be Kane, please don't be Kane."

Kane just happens to be this cute little boy in Miss Peach's class. His daddy is the owner/chef at a marvelous sushi restaurant downtown. I don't know why I want Miss Peach and Kane to get along? It's not like it means free sushi for me...and yet, there it is:P

Of course I ask Miss Beth who the little boy was...and it was Kane...figures:(

Miss Peach and I get home, and I ask..."Miss Peach, what happened today? Miss Beth tells me that you hit Kane. Why did you hit Kane? You know that we don't hit."

To which Miss Peach replies...(big sigh, and eye roll) "I don't know Mommy, I just yike him. I won't hit him anymore, but I just yike him." (Miss Peach pronounces "l's" as "y's". "Yike" means "Like" It's so cute I just want to squeeze her!)

First crush...can you stand it...I can't;)

27

Finding the Groove (not yet)

I feel like I'm carrying a plate of spaghetti, and life came up and smacked the bottom. There are noodles flying everywhere!

This new preschool schedule for Miss Peach is kicking my a**!

I plunk the kiddos in the stroller, we hustle about 20 min. to school, drop her off...then I head out to play with The Little Man.

Little Man and I come home, I beg him to eat something other then "oh's" for lunchies, then I bribe him into nap time (yes, I bribe...I'm not proud, anything I can do to get kiddos to nap is a win in my book)

The way it's been going, right about the time The Little Man gets down, I have to wake him up to head back out on the march to pick Miss Peach up.

Press repeat Mon-Friday, and you have my schedule. It's been really hard to find the groove, ya know?


Oh, congrats to BurghBaby! You win the Prima Princessa Nutcracker DVD! Yay!!!

23

Art Talk

I can't believe I forgot to share this with the class last week!

OK, Miss Peach has been doing a lot of painting at preschool. Remember, she LOVES painting...

Well, she came home the other day and said...

Miss Peach: "Mommy, today we painted in school, and I told my teacher all about Georgia O'Keeffe!"

Me: "Really, what did your teacher say?"

Miss Peach: "She said she hadn't seen Georgia's work." (Which between you and me, kinda surprised me...)

Me: "...and what did you tell her?"

Miss Peach: "I told her she really must go to the mooseseum (Miss Peach for museum) and see her work!"

How sweet and hilarious is that?:P


Oh, come back tom. to find out who will win the free dvd:)

26

Cat Fight er Fish Fight!

There are days when I feel like I have been walking around with a "kick me" sign taped to my back...Today, was one of those days:P

I started swimming last year, as cross training for my marathon. Never have I been a swimmer, but I stuck with it. For real, it's a great workout, and one of the main things I LOVE about it is...once I put my head in the water...no one bothers me (no Mommy this, or Mommy that...bliss). Until today...

Nobody gave me any rules of the pool guide. It's pretty straight forward. Go to the pool, pick an open lane, swim. Not. Rocket. Science.

Today, I go to the pool. There is one end lane open. No one else is around, everyone was in the pool. I think to myself Score, I got the last lane, jump in, and start my laps.

All of the sudden, I get to the end of the pool, and this woman is towering over my lane, yelling at me:O

Lane Nazi: "I can't believe you stole my lane!!!"

Me: *blink, blink*

Lane Nazi: "Didn't you see my stuff here? I can't believe you would steal my lane?!?"

Me: "Look lady, there are kick boards and flippers everywhere. How was I supposed to know any of it was yours? No one was here...Like I'm supposed to know this was your lane, and sit and wait for you to come back?"

Lane Nazi: "I wasn't here, I went to the bathroom" (which is on another floor of the health club. She had gone to the pool first, dropped off her stuff to save the lane and left.)

Me: "I'm supposed to know this how? I had no idea you could reserve a lane...but if you need this lane, I'll move. I'm sorry if I crossed some lane reserving protocol:P"

Lane Nazi: "No, I don't want the lane anymore, I have another one. I just can't believe you would steal my lane!" (When I got there, there was only one lane open. By the time the Lane Nazi got there, other lanes opened up...leaving me to wonder why she was yelling at me???)

Me: "Look lady, I have apologized to you, and offered up the lane to you. I don't know what else I can do?"

Lane Nazi: *miffing and shaking her head as she walks back to her lane*

Me: *yelling across the pool* "You are way out of line!"

Here's how you know you are a blogger...I swam away thinking...I'll show you Lane Nazi B*tch...I am so blogging this. Like we are at West Beverly, I'm Naomi and I'm all "I will ruin you!" (Did I just admit I've been watching the new Bev. Hills 90210? Don't tell anyone...)

Well, you just know that I leave the pool, go take a shower, and come back to my locker to get dressed. Lane Nazi's locker is right. next. to. mine:P That just figures...seriously out of like six rows of lockers...she is right next to me. Who did I p*ss off today? I so don't deserve this.

Lane Nazi: "I just don't understand why you would do that?"

Me: *BIG sigh* "Lady, all I did was swim in an open lane...if this is the worst thing that happens to you today, chalk it up in the win column and call it a day. Get over it." (Then I flipped my hair like a total b*tch, turned around, and and walked on...)

Lane Nazi: *blink, blink*

BOO-YAH!!! (I get to BOO-YAH, right? I think I won that one?)

30

Ballerina Girl

Do you know what this is? I will tell you...

It is a picture of Miss Peach in pure bliss:) Back in the haze of Blogher, I mentioned a dvd, Prima Princessa Presents Swan Lake. I am telling you, not only is Miss Peach dancing around my living room, but The Little Man is as well. Not to mention the fact that Mommy is more than a bit proud that both my children know Tchaikovsky is the composer of Swan Lake! (little smarty pants)

Well, the good folks at Prima Princessa have done it again with the equally fabulous Prima Princessa Presents The Nutcracker. I can't express how wonderful these dvd's are (think Sesame Street meets San Francisco Ballet performing Nutcracker)...I actually enjoy when the kiddos are watching it...The music is a nice change from The Backyardigans and The Wonder Pets:P

What I love most is that two stay at home moms put their heads together and came up with a winner. Stephanie and Mary Kate have been so cool as to offer a free dvd to someone in the comments. So leave me a comment and one of you will get The Nutcracker...Yay!

24

Larry?

Come my people...let us worship at the Church of Bono...Yes, it looks like something from a War of the Worlds Invasion of Soldier Field (I would TOTALLY see that movie!) Bono said the actual concept behind "The Spaceship" was to be able to reach the crowd. OK.

First...the new Soldier Field is HUGE:O I'm not kidding you when I tell you that it took the Bro and I about 45 minutes to actually FIND our seats. Sorry Snow Patrol (opening act) but we made it to the stadium, just couldn't a get IN to the stadium. I felt like I was lost in some Twilight Zonian loop. Just cruel, architects of the new SF...why you gotta do me like that? (trust me when I tell you, you can not get from point A, to point B)

After climbing the Roman Columns, and making it to our seats, the lights went dark, and smoke starts pumping out of The Clawship. *que music*

"Ground control to Major Tom...

commencing countdown engines on...

check ignition and may God's love be with you..."

Can I just say I. LOVE. THAT. SONG? Hello Bowie, I love that song!

Out walks the boys. I gotta say, it kinda bummed me out that they opened with a chunk of new stuff. (I know the new album has a name, but I don't have it, I don't know it, I think it's kinda mediocre...sorry Bono.)

Then the jumbo screen closes in on drummer Larry Mullen...which proceeds to drive. me. crazy. for the rest of the night. 'Cause it doesn't look like Larry Mullen. (I have LOVED him since the 80's, I should know, even if I was in the 300 section!) YES, I drove the bro nutso with this.

"Dude...that's not Larry Mullen!"

"It's TOTALLY robo-Larry Mullen..."

"You know, clone-Larry Mullen is doing a pretty good job. Does he just hang out and wait for real-Larry to get sick?"

"Where is real-Larry Mullen?"

"So, they have a back up Larry, do you think they have a back up Bono?"

"What if Sting played the drums for U2, does Sting play drums? He probably wouldn't want to be the not-Larry"

"When Edge takes off his hat, do you think anyone recognizes him?"

Don'cha want to see a show with me? Yeah, I don't think the Bro does either:P

Long story short. The show was pretty good (just ask Avatar-Larry, he was there)

Fact of the matter is, the bar is set so high for U2, that even an OK show is pretty dog'gone spectacular (really, imitation-Larry would agree)

I have seen like, 7 U2 shows, and I think that we can all say...There is no topping Zoo TV Tour.

There I said it, and Poor Man's-Larry would tell you the same, just ask him.

perfect CD+perfect technology=perfect show

I am so not trashing the show, it was really, REALLY good. Bono knows how to rock the house (especially when the house is 80,000 strong) I would expect nothing less...he's BONO. (rest assured, I said "hi" from all of you, he said "hi" back)

You know...maybe that was Larry Mullen...

20

A "Poyem" by Miss Peach

Fiona

A bed is so bouncy,
It's soft for your bum-bum to land on.
A pillow is so fluffy.
A lawnmower mows the grass...
It must be spring.

Written and recited by Miss Peach as she was bouncing on my bed...Brilliant, I think so:)

25

Best Mom in the World

OK...remember when I left you hanging with the lame "that's a whole 'nother story" in my last post? Well...if you want to hear it...here it is...

Does your kiddo have a snuggie, or a stuffy? Miss Peach does. Mrs. Elephant is the first string, and Tinky Elephant is the second. Daddy took Miss Peach, and The Little Man to Michigan to visit Grandma for the day. You guessed it...she HAD to bring both Mrs E. and Tinky.

The. Last. Thing. I said to Husband was "be sure you bring home the Elephants".

I am assuming that is why they came home WITHOUT them!:O

So let's get this picture into focus for you. I have to tell my daughter, who is getting up in the morning to go to preschool, for the first time, for the full day...that she can't bring her elephants with her because they were left in Michigan. Yeah, that should go over well...NOT! (Did I mention she has NEVER spent the night without them...since she was born?)

I talked her off the ceiling (and that took some talking).

Basically, the only way the world was going to keep turning, was if I drove 2 hours out to Michigan to pick up her team, and then drove 2 hours back to pick her up from preschool with the elephants in tow.

That is what The Little Man and I did. All I have to say is...The Little Man is a trooper.

Really, all I had to do was bribe him with McDonald's...but he's still a trooper;P

Miss Peach bravely went to preschool without the elephants...they met her at the end of the day...and all was right with the world:)

(Oh...and I get major Mom points for that one...either that, or I need my head examined!)

18

They're Growing Up!

What a hectic day! It gets easier...right? We do find the new routine...don't we?

Yes my friends...Miss Peach had her first day of preschool today. In the words of Yoda...A happier camper, you will not find. (OMG...did I just talk like Yoda?)Did you think Nap Warden's daughter would have anything other than a Super Girl backpack? (thank you Walgreen's...$5! *high five*)
Miss Peach awoke, bounced out of bed and said "Mommy, do I get to go to preschool today?"

Remember my whole panic over her long day? Yeah, not an issue. I picked her up, and asked her how it went. At first she seemed a bit quiet, so I said "Do you want to have a shorter day? Mommy can pick you up earlier."

To which she said "No shorter day! Pah-leeze, no shorter day!"

Then she talked all the way home about her new friends, the picture she painted, the book she read, how Mommy had packed too much lunch, and what fun recess was. I'll chalk it up to so far, so good;)
The Little Man had a good day with Mommy...but that's a whole 'nother story!

26

Open Letter to Melrose Place

Dear Melrose Place,

It was a long, trashy, seedy, campy road we traveled in the 90's. You know what, I watched every sappy a** episode! Every pool cat fight, every couple scramble, every Joe killed my crazy lover, baby stealing, Allison the Billy loving alcoholic I'm moving back to Atlanta episode.

C'mon, you didn't forget the progressive parties we single gals threw every Monday night in your honor? Did ya? We all poured into my 4th floor walk up studio apartment and ate Chinese, chips-n-dip, cheese popcorn, cookies, brownies...all while drinking really cheap wine and screaming at the TV. Until, one by one, my single girls peeled away, and I was the only one left to watch Peter and Amanda get married and walk into the sunset...

We had some good times Melrose...Seriously, how can you forget when Bruce hung himself in Amanda's office with the note "congratulations on your promotion" pinned to him...

What about when, Sydney became a stripper, only to be busted by the boys of Billy's bachelor party:O Sydney *shaking my head*...what a sad little tart you were...or should I say are...or is it soon to be a were again?

Oh...I know, how 'bout when Kimberly came back from the dead...no wait...when Kimberly goes into the bathroom and starts scratching at her forehead, and rips off a wig to reveal her bald a** head with that humongous scar!:O (OMG!) I mean really, you had us at back from the dead...and then you went and threw that in...Holy, well played, Batman *applause*;)

No, no, no...what about when Kimberly BLOWS up Melrose Place...that Kimberly, what a crazy Micheal loving b*tch she was!

Well...now you want to come slithering back into my life like some lame excuse from Michael about how you weren't really sleeping with my sister, you were just laying in bed naked with her...and you want me to take you back. I'm not sure how I feel about this...

Don't get me wrong, what we had was wonderful...totally, it was...but can we every really go back?

What if I'm too grown up (heh heh...I just said "I'm too grown up"...heh heh) and you're too immature for me? (I mean really...Ashlee Simpson...really? Can she sing? or act? or sing?)

I'm just not sure I'm ready to make a commitment to you, only to have you not be the pure soapy trash that I would expect you to be...(not that the bar is set high...or is it low?)

Torn between two MP's,
Nap Warden
p.s. What if I just sit by the pool Tues. night and see what happens? Who knows, I might even rip off my clothes and dive in for a swim;P

p.p.s. I can't believe I ever thought you were cool! (but you were sooo cool {hugs})

19

Queen

Well, Mr. Smokey has his Halloween costume figured out...What the heck am I gonna be???

21

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Miss Peach had her open house today for preschool...

This was gonna be a post about how I had to smooth talk her out of the Snow White, Fairy, Princess costume... which she feels is appropriate for all occasions.


Finally...after much coercing, Miss Peach and I compromised on... street clothes with Princess accessories...and all was right with the world:)

This was gonna be a post about meeting her teacher, and seeing her classroom, and meeting the other kiddos in her preschool class...

All of us kiddos and parents listened as her new teacher addressed us, and handed out the packet to help us on our transition to preschool.

I welled up with tears when the teacher discussed dealing with separation anxiety...and said "this isn't about your kiddos...they are ready. The separation anxiety information is for you..."

'Cause right then and there it hit me...While I had been saying all along that Miss Peach was so ready for preschool...I am not:( I will deal with it, and be happy for her, and encourage her...but the fact of the matter is, I'm gonna miss my baby girl *sniff, sniff*

It would have been all well and good to end my post here...me dealing with my sweet little Pixie getting ready for her first day of preschool...then. I. saw. it...

The daily schedule...

I had signed on for what I thought was 8:30-12:30 five days a week.

Well...they changed that. Turns out...it's now a full day program!

Wait...what?!?

Yeah...it's a six hour a day, five days a week preschool program!

Holy, how the H*ll am I going to deal with that, Batman?!? I'm so not ready:(

Don't get me wrong...I'm an extremely rational person. I am totally going to play this by ear and see how it works for Miss Peach. If she enjoys having a full day program, I'm gonna suck it up and be happy we found it.

I'm hoping that perhaps I can pick her up after lunch and before nap time (closer to 12:30) I do know there are earlier drop offs, and later pick up times for parents who work...so perhaps, I can work out an earlier pick up time if that's what is needed...

I'm freaking out here... *deep breathes* just need a little hand holding:O

31